Prisoner of War
by LadyKrobley
Summary: It was time of war for the Golden Trio and Hermione was being held prisoner by the enemy. -AU.
1. Captured

**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Alright, so I decided to rewrite all of the chapters and it will also be changed into third-person narrative. I got rid of the prologue. You are going to have to re-read. I'm happy for everyone who has stuck so far even after my absence. I promise to try and write more often. I hope you enjoy reading my story for either the first time or the second time. Those just starting, this is not a rip-off of every_thursday's _The Fallout_. I did get the idea of the days from her, but other than that, the plot is mine and will remain as so.

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**Captured – Chapter 1**

**Day 1; Hour 15**

The art of war was simple enough; find out where the enemy was, get to him as fast as you can, strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving. But Hermione didn't know where to strike. She couldn't throw the Killing Curse without fear of killing a member of her own team; she couldn't tell the difference anymore. Smoke and fog covered the battled field. She could see grey and black figures moving, running, lying down; some covered in red.

Mud was caked all over her because of the running, and the ducking to the ground trying to avoid being hit. Hermione wanted to run far away and just hide from all the death. _Coward,_ she had thought to herself. She was thinking of running away, while so many people she grew up with and knew were dying right in front of her, fighting for what they believed in.

It was beginning to turn into dusk. She and the others have all been fighting for hours and it was beginning to take a toll on Hermione's body.

She turned around to run in the other direction but instead is caught watching Lavender Brown die. Lavender was being mauled by Fenrir Greyback. By the time Hermione got to utter the two words that could save her life and end his, it was too late and both now lay there dead. Hermione couldn't cry for her soul though. We're at war and there was no time for weeping.

There was yelling all around her, but she couldn't tell which direction it was coming from. She felt utterly alone at this point because her team had gotten separated after a big explosion. She had no idea where she was. The only time she could even detect where she might be was when a spell flew by her. It reminded her of when her parents would put on a fireworks display for the neighbourhood, but that felt like another lifetime ago, some distant memory that no longer mattered to her or anyone else.

She saw a spell hurtling towards her and she tried to go the opposite direction but that was when she saw him, Draco Malfoy. He was looking right at her; his wand was aimed straight at her heart. She looked at him with empty eyes as if daring him to kill her. "Go ahead Malfoy, kill me. Serve your purpose and rid the world of yet another Mudblood." Hermione spoke with no emotions. She wasn't sure if she really wanted him to kill or not. She just felt tired and she wanted to feel something other than pain.

Moments pass, people were dying around them, but they were still staring at each other; steel-grey peering into amber brown. She was getting ready to run for it, not wanting to stick around to give him the chance to kill. When all of a sudden Draco shut his eyes; he opened them again and looked at her for a few short seconds, then turned on his heel and sprinted away from her. _Coward_.

She turned on her heel and ran in the direction she had just come from – not wanting to go in the same direction as Malfoy.

**Day 1; Hour 18**

This had to be the longest battle they had ever had. They had been at war for two long miserable years, and with every battle she couldn't help but to keep thinking to herself that this battle was going to be the last one. Yet every time her assumption is proven wrong, and every time another one came; with every battle more and more deaths were being tallied on both sides. She feared the worst was still yet to come.

There had been a lot of fear surrounding her now; it surrounded her like a wet, suffocating cloth. She felt as if she had lived with it for the longest time, but it has never been quite like this. Fear was never an actuality; it was there and there was no escape from it, no evasions were possible. The fear in her heart was like in one of those dreams where you try to run but you can't do it, you can't run because the fear was heavy like an anchor in your chest. She could see the fear in everyone eyes in the middle of war. It was fear of death, fear of the unknown, and fear of the outcome. She liked to believe there was nothing to fear but fear itself.

There was a huge explosion and all of a sudden she was shaken out of her thoughts. She didn't know where that explosion came from. She didn't know which direction she should go to. She was too caught up in her thoughts.

She turned left and kept running and running, letting her feet carry her to anywhere. Then she heard someone scream; She wasn't sure if it was her voice or not. She kept running though, not letting anything stop or get in her way.

Not long after that she tripped and landed beside a body. She could tell who it was and screamed. _No No No No..._ She kept saying over and over in her head. It couldn't be her. She couldn't be dead. She sat there, looking at Luna's body. Her eyes void of any emotion, but she was smiling. Hermione didn't understand it, but Luna was smiling. How was it that she was happy to die? She didn't think any longer on the subject because she could hear footsteps coming towards her.

Hermione got up and began running again. She was trying to put distance between her and the runner behind her. She casted a spell and then a spell hurtled past her and she felt the energy from it. Her wand flew out of her tight grasp and she collapsed.

Hermione couldn't move; she couldn't feel her body. She felt like a dead weight. The only thought she had was death. She was going to die here. This was her last chance of living and she didn't even know what she had to show for it. Of course, 'Brightest Witch of her Age', but what does that prove? She was able read a couple of books and get O's on all her exams. To her, at this very moment, it didn't prove one _damn_thing. She was not able to even enjoy her adolescent years because of this war. All because _one_ man turned into a megalomaniac psychopath and wanted to rule the Wizarding World to rid it of 'Dirty' blood.

She heard the man cackle before he entered her sight of vision.

"You are a pretty Mudblood aren't you?" Hermione stared at the man in disgust. How could someone as vile as him still be able to walk this earth?

"Looks like you are coming with me filth!" He begins cackling once more. He pointed his wand to her face and she was instantly engulfed into darkness.

**Day 1; Hour 23**

She heard _screams _and _laughter._It surrounded her senses; _her _screams and _their _laughter.

She moaned in pain as she felt her chest tighten. It was like hyperventilation but much worse. She had never felt this much pain in her life.

There's a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humour and hurt. This is not one of those comedies and this is most definitely not humorous. How could they be laughing when someone was screaming in agonizing pain? Then the pain stops and she was not convulsing on the floor any longer.

Tears were on the brink of releasing but she wouldn't shed them. She wouldn't become submissive to their cruelty.

"Tell us Mudblood!" Lucius Malfoy screams – his lip curling into a malicious grin.

Hermione lips are lightly compressed together as an act of defiance. She wasn't expecting to be slapped in the face because of it. The impact was so strong, her head went to the left and she brought her hand up to hold her cheek.

"Where are they, Where are your precious friends?" An unknown Death Eater screamed out. Hermione sat there and stared at them all with disgust, but she didn't speak. She will not give them any answer. She will not be known as a traitor.

"You will answer me, you piece of filth!" Lucius screams out before aiming in his wand at her face and yelling out Crucio.

There it was again, the pain. It felt much worse than it did before. It was like she didn't even remember what it felt like the first time. But who can remember pain, once it is over? All that remained of it was the shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. All she knew to do was scream and scream and she knew her voice was going out because her voice was getting scratchy and hoarse. Then it was over once again.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION MUDBLOOD!"

Hermione looked up at Lucius Malfoy, tears on the verge of spilling. "Go to Hell," she stated, her voice cracking from the screaming.

Roars of laughter erupted from the other Death Eaters watching the scene unfold. His hand made impact with her face once more and she fell over as blood began running down her split lip.

"You will answer the question Mudblood or you will die." He drawls out in a superiority tone that only a Malfoy could possess.

"Then kill me because I will never answer to you." Hermione replied defiantly, locking eyes with the menace.

They all laugh and others scoff in annoyance at her behaviour. "You better hold that filthy tongue of yours!" Everything went black after she was struck in the head by Malfoy's Cane.

**Day 2; Hour 5**

All the memories were rushing back to her and the dull pain that resided in her head was not pleasant either. She felt around and there was a plate of food – if you could even call it that – in front of her. If it would have been any other day she would have refused it, but she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten or when she would eat again.

She bit down on the bread which turned out to be moulded and tried not to regurgitate the little bit of food in her. If they were trying to keep her alive, you'd think they'd give her better tasting food. They were trying to kill her _slowly_ is more like it; she laughed to myself at the irony of it all.

She finally got a chance to look around the room, her own personal hell. The room was dark; pitch black to be exact. There was no moonlight to creep through a window; nothing to cast shadows around the room. She felt truly alone. The only time light was able to grace her presence was when _they_ decided to open the door, but nothing good would come from them opening the door.

Hermione heard rustling outside the door and it was creaked open. She saw a little sliver of light cascade along the wall and a head full of golden blond hair entered the room. Oh _great_ a Malfoy she thought to herself as he took out his wand and the tip of it lights up. The face of Draco Malfoy comes into view.

"What are you doing here Mudblood?"

_Really, he was seriously asking me that question?_ She thought to herself again. _Do all Malfoy's have a brain disorder with asking stupid questions?_

"Oh you know, I thought I'd drop by and have some tea, why do you think I'm here Malfoy. I didn't exactly choose to be dragged here by a bunch of Death Eaters."

He shoved his wand against her throat. "You were not supposed to get captured."

Hermione scoffed and rolled her eyes at him, "Tell that to the other Death Eaters, _not_ me!" His wand was being shoved harder against her throat.

"Do not speak, Granger! You're lucky I can't touch you." she could see the disgust in his eyes, and she was sure he could see the fear in hers.

"Granger," she thought she saw pity in his eyes but it is gone as fast as it showed up, "don't you even think about giving up."

With that he turned around and left the room.

Confusion was one emotion she was harbouring at the moment. Why is he telling her this? Did she even hear him right? Did Draco Malfoy tell her not to give up? She started breathing in shallow breaths. Her head began swimming with so many questions that would never be explained.

She felt hot anger rising in her chest. Who the _hell_ gave him the right to come in her prison and tell her not to give up! He had no right. All her thoughts were overwhelming and the tears came cascading over her eyes. She felt like a leaking water faucet in her mum's kitchen sink that couldn't be shut off and that just angered her even more.

_I am __not __weak._ She repeated that over and over in her head as the tears fell down her face and she let out a frustrated scream. Nothing she did could have made her felt any better. He shouldn't have told her that. He had no right to tell her to not give up or not.

It was bad enough that she was stuck under the same roof with a bunch of psychotic Death Eaters, but Draco Malfoy had to be a temperamental, argumentative, pretentious arse as well.


	2. Interactions

**Interactions – Chapter 2**

**Day 6;**

Hermione was being dragged across the courtyard a few days later because, if she heard correctly, the hideout had been compromised. They had a traitor among them. That wasn't really a big surprise though. Voldemort's most trusted Death Eater was a spy and he was supposed to be known as the most ruthless and feared Death Eater of them all. Hell, even as a first year Hermione suspected Snape to be that. Although in the end, she was rather upset when he had died. Especially after find out he was on the light side this whole time.

She heard there was another battle happening on the outskirts of this manor and that's where all the more _experienced_ Death Eaters were; in other words, the expendable Death Eaters.

It was funny really, Voldemort wanted nothing but _Pure_blood but he would send off his men and his men's _precious_ blood to be spilt in battle. She didn't think he really thought that through or he really just didn't care about them at all. He was only using them to get what he wanted.

She was yanked out of her thoughts by someone jerking her by her hair and she whimpered at the feeling. Then she felt a sudden tug at her navel and landed in the gravel driveway of a Victorian like manor. If she wasn't being held prisoner she might have actually liked her stay here.

She was dragged across the gravel and through the entrance and down in the dungeons before she was thrown into a new cell.

What she expected to hear was the slamming of the cell door but that sound didn't reach her ears. She looked up and saw Antonin Dolohov looking down at her with a grimace on his face. She swallowed down, hard, her breath coming in short, terrified gasps.

_Oh God._

She was feeling terrified. She didn't know what he was going to do to her... Maybe he just wants to talk. Yeah right, and she supposed he was going to conjure up some tea and biscuits. She wondered if he was going to speak.

After what seemed like an eternity, he answered her unasked question.

"Well Mudblood, it seems you have got some of your people looking for you." He smirked at her and pulled out his wand and points it towards her direction.

Hermione was shaking, hard. She didn't notice that he had closed the distance between them until she could feel his breath upon her face; she held back the urge gag. He grabbed her shoulder and pushed her up against the wall.

_Oh God._

How the hell how was she supposed to get out of this?

She fought the urge to cry in front of him. She refused to show any weakness in front of him. She would not be weak.

She couldn't breathe with the weight of him pressing her to the wall; she tried to twist her way out of his tight hold, but his wand was then jabbed into her ribs; she stopped struggling.

He laughed, "That's right Mudblood. Don't struggle. Just do as you're told and I will have no reason to harm you."

Hermione breathed deeply and tried to gulp down the tears of fear that were threatening to leak out on to her cheeks. She didn't know what to do. She just didn't know what to do! "What do you want?" Hermione whispered.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out, Mudblood," he murmured in her ear.

Hermione pressed her lips together. What did he want her for? She couldn't think. She was so scared and she couldn't think. All she knew was that she couldn't move; he was pressing her so hard against the wall her bones were breaking, and if she even tried to struggle, he'd curse her. She didn't know what to do.

He grabbed her throat; the grip was so tight, surely she was seeing stars at this point. She was struggling to catch her breath; her hands were gripping at his. She was trying to pull him off but to no avail.

He let go and started to laugh manically, and she feared for her life.

He had begun to kiss her along the marks on her neck that he had left; her body tensed up and a gasp escaped her lips.

_Oh God._

Hermione could feel the tears streaming down her face. Please not this. He couldn't do this to her.

Hermione didn't hold her tears anymore. This was one of the things Hermione feared ever since she was captured; it was getting molested by a Death Eater.

She cried out when he puts his hand inside her shirt. He pulled it out and puts his hand to her mouth with a hard clamp. "You do that again and I will kill you Mudblood."

Hermione began to weep. Please God, please. Someone enter the room and stop him. _Please_.

His hand went back into her shirt and he started groping at her breasts, hard. She just wanted him to stop. She didn't want this.

She began to hear footsteps heading into this direction and she cried out again. She didn't care if he killed her at that point. She didn't want to lose the only thing she had left that hadn't been taken away from her. If she could remain in control of one thing, she wanted to control that.

He slapped her, hard. It stung but he got off her, and she couldn't help the audible sigh that had escaped her lips.

"Dolohov, what the hell are you doing all over that Mudblood?"

Hermione never thought she'd ever be so happy to hear the drawl of Malfoy's voice. At that moment in time she would hug and kiss him. Well, maybe not that, but she was so happy to see him standing in the doorway.

Hermione slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest and gasped for her breath to stop the tears.

"Young Malfoy, I'm only having my way with this piece of filth, I didn't see any harm in that; unless, of course, you have a problem." Dolohov arched an eyebrow at Draco, but Draco brushed it off as insignificant.

"Don't be foolish, Dolohov." he scoffed before continuing, "Father wishes to see you; he has just got back from the battle."

Dolohov stared at her for a few seconds before retreating to the door, "Didn't worry, Mudblood, I'm not finished with you just yet." With that he exited and she was left trembling.

Malfoy was staring at her intently and she so scared that he was going to finish what Dolohov started and this time no one would be able to stop it.

Draco turned his gaze away from Hermione and he conjured up a chair before he sat down.

Hermione starred at him with confusion evident on her face, but she was too worked up to question his behaviour. She was happy that Dolohov had left and Draco wasn't trying anything.

**Day 12;**

Lately, all Draco had been doing was watching Hermione. He ran one hand through his hair, which she was sure, would never be neat and orderly after the years of war and chaos he had endured. She didn't know what he was looking for; weakness probably, waiting for her to crack so he could laugh in her face and make fun of her. She normally saw disgust in his eyes the whole time he looked at her.

"Are you ever going to say something?" Hermione finally asked, after a few days had been spent in the same fashion.

He just stared at her for a few minutes, "I have nothing to say to you Mudblood."

Hermione could hear the venom in his voice and she cringed inwardly at this.

Ever since that day Dolohov tried to harm her, whenever he was in the building, Malfoy had been sitting in the cell with her.

It wasn't often, but he had been sitting across the room in a chair for a few days now. If her calculations were correct, it has been four days. She wondered why he stayed here. It made no sense.

The day he had told her not to give up had resurfaced in her mind as he continued to stare at her. She still hadn't made the _time_ to think about that day. She had all the time in the world to think, but her mind never went back to that day. It even felt like it had been so long ago that that incident happened, but she knew it had only been a week or so.

Why would he even care if she survived or not.

Did he want to personally kill her or? It aggravated Hermione how he could get under her skin without even trying. She just wanted to scream in his face and ask what was wrong with him. How could he be so aggravating?

Without even realizing it, Hermione let out a huff of breath, and she heard a scoff from across the room.

"What? I can't breathe now?" Hermione asked annoyed at his behaviour.

"Try not to breathe so loud"

"Well, if you don't like how I breathe you can just leave; nothing is keeping you here."

"You are keeping me here."

The nerve of him. How dare he say that?

"I don't recall asking you to sit in this cell with me day in and day out; that was on your own accord and if you don't like your accommodations, you can just leave the way you came in."

He looks at her with wry smirk, "Well if you want Dolohov to come in here and finish what he started then I will gladly leave you in here by yourself; is that what you want Granger?"

Hermione cringed inwardly remembering that day a bit more vividly than she wanted to. "Why do _you_ care what happens to me Malfoy?"

"I don't care Granger but your friends might."

Hermione was taken aback for a few seconds and confusion surfaced over her expression. All she could do was start at him in shock. She had no idea what to say to this. So many unanswered questions, questions that would remain unanswered began to form in her mind. She didn't understand. She didn't think her brain can handle not understanding this.

Hermione was about to say something but before she could get a single word out Malfoy spoke.

"You mean nothing to me; you are a waste of air." He pauses for effect, and locks his gaze onto mine. "You are nothing."

She couldn't believe he just said that, well she could believe Malfoy would say something like that, but it was like a punch in the stomach.

"And you're worth something are you?" she tried to keep her voice strong, but it was hard when she was shaking with rage. "You think you're superior to me because of your blood's purity. It's pathetic, _you_are pathetic!"

He was quiet for the longest time, as if he was trying to comprehend everything that had been said between them. Then he said it, "I agree." It was spoken so quietly, she almost didn't believe that he had said it.

Then she was screaming before she could even realize that she was in pain. It felt like battery acid traveling through her nerve endings. It subsided, then the wave rolled over her again. She cried out. Hurts, _hurts_, her body is going to split in half, or burst, or-

Then the pain was gone and she was lying on the ground tears pouring over her cheeks and her breath was coming out shallow and rough. Then she heard Malfoy's voice.

"Never speak to me like that again Mudblood."

Hermione stared at him, that's all she could do. He hurt her. He actually used his wand against her. She finally spoke, even though she knew that this was probably going to bring her more pain, but she didn't mind the pain that was sure to come. She wanted – needed to say this and nothing was going to stop her now.

"You are _pathetic_ Draco Malfoy. You think what you are doing is pathetic, yet you are too scared to disobey your 'Father', if you can even call him that. Do you expect me to cower at your knees and think of you as a powerful man? Well, I can see you for what you are; and all I see is an inbred, bigoted _coward_. You had a choice and you chose to stick to your blood prejudicial ways; yet you have the nerve to agree with what I say then _Crucio_ me!" she looked at him in disgust. "You_disgust_ me."

He is up and out of his chair before Hermione could even bat an eyelash. He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her close to him, "Listen to me, Granger; I'm not going to say this again." He began speaking fiercely in her ear, still holding her. "You don't know what it's like. To be destined for the _wrong_ side and to not have a_choice_. You don't know anything, and you _never _will know. I may be a coward, but at least I'm not narrow-minded like you."

"Do not give me that bullshit, people always have a choice Malfoy and you _chose_ the wrong side. I couldn't show sympathy for you because you brought this upon yourself. _You_and you alone are at fault for what is happening in your life."

"You would know wouldn't you! You grew up with _these_ beliefs and ideals coerced into your brain. You were brought up into this world to carry on all these ideals for future generations. I had no choice in my own actions. You wouldn't understand because you don't _want_ to try to understand." Hermione could see the anger in his eyes and it was a scary sight. The anger just continued to build up.

"I understand completely. You are using your parentage as an excuse! You always had a choice, Malfoy. You decided to stand there in that tower and watch as Dumbledore died. You could have changed everything, yet you chose to do nothing!" Hermione spoke venomous. She didn't hold anything back, and maybe that wasn't smart.

"You think I had a choice that night? Tell me, if you and your parents' lives were being threatened, would you have chosen to defy Voldemort?"

"My parents would understand. They would understand that I would be doing what was right." Hermione spoke defiantly.

"Your parents are not my parents, Granger! That's what you don't understand!"

"It doesn't matter. You could have done what was right."

"For being Brightest Witch of Our Age, you are impossibly narrow-minded! You don't get to come here and tell me what is right and wrong, when you don't understand a damn thing! You don't get the right to judge me by my past or my parentage! I don't even have a rig-"

Draco stopped abruptly and pushed her away from him. Hermione staggered back and landed on the floor with a hard thud.

She sat there her mind going into over-drive. She opened her mouth to retort, but she just closed her mouth because she had no idea how to respond to something like that; she was gaping like a fish out of water.

She looked up at him, bewilderment written all over her expression. And he was staring down at her with such intensity; she felt like he was looking into her soul. She didn't understand why had just stopped and threw her down. What was he going to say?

"I have nothing more to say to you Mudblood." He all but spat in her face and the amount of venom his voice held made her flinch.

Hermione was about to speak up when she was cut off by Malfoy before she could.

"Dolohov is dead. He died a few days ago actually. I won't be returning."

"Why did you stay here for so many days?" she asked; curiosity getting the better of her.

He didn't answer her question though. He retreated to the door, he looked at her for a few seconds, then he exited with a slam of the the door from behind him and the sound resonates in the walls.

**Day 20;**

Hermione began to _miss_ Malfoy. Not him in particular, but his company. It was his presence; knowing that she wasn't alone in this cell made her feel less lonely.

**Day 25;**

Hermione was accosted by another person. He was captured the day before while she had slept. She didn't recognize him. He looked very young. She tried to press a conversation. She sked if he knew anything. Which side was winning? If it was getting better out there, but nothing came out of his mouth. She decided to just soak up his presence while she could.

It did not last very long though.

A few hours later she was thrown awake by the sound of his screams echoing throughout the manor; it wasn't pleasant. Blood curdling screams. She felt terrible because she just wanted them to kill him. If only to spare her from the torture of his screams. She was beginning to get a headache from it.

Why not just end his life instead of torturing him for information he wasn't going to give, mainly because he had none to give.

That exact question is what she had been asking herself for the past few weeks.

**Day 28; Hour 18**

Malfoy brought Hermione her food today. It was the first time she had seen him since the day he stormed out.

He stared at her while she ate. She could tell he wanted to tell her something, but he didn't speak; he just stared.

He left when she was done eating and she continued to sit there and wait; for what? She didn't really know.

**Day 28; Hour 19**

Draco's father came to _visit_ her an hour later. She would have said that it was a nice change of company, but she would be lying to herself.

Being interrogated and tortured is not a way she would have liked to spend her day, but she took what she could get.

"How are you communicating with the outside?" Lucius asked, his wanted being shoved into her throat with force.

She choked out her answer. "I'm not, you daft idiot."

She regretted her response the second she felt the searing pain enter her bones and reside there until he lifted the curse.

**Day 28; Hour 00**

It was now night time, at least she thought it was night.

She had been lying on the ground for hours, trying to get the feeling of fire off her mind.

She heard the door creak open, but she didn't look up to see who it was. If she was going to be tortured again, she didn't care that much to show respect.

The youngest Malfoy came into view and she could see the extra food in his hands. At first she thought it might have been poisoned but Hermione let that thought leave before she could dwell on it. She sat up and began to devour the food.

He was staring at her and she was so confused. "Is there are reason you are still here Malfoy?" She asked.

"I want to ask you something, Granger."

She looked at him quizzically and just nodded her head indicating he could. He didn't show any sign that he saw her approval and just continued talking. "Do you think people can change?"

She sat there thinking the question over before answering him. "I do, but it depends really; is this change a good thing or a bad thing?"

"And if you don't know whether it is good or not... what do you do then? What if the other people around you don't see it as good change? What happens then?"

Hermione stared at him for a while thinking of an answer. How do you answer that? Why is he asking her this?

"It doesn't matter what others think. If you want to change, you can change."

He stared at her for a few seconds then he got up and left her there alone again with nothing but her thoughts as her company.

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I hope you are enjoying the revised version a lot better than the old one. I'm hoping you are. I will have chapter 3 up hopefully by the end of tonight. It takes me a while to revise. I love you all for sticking around. A shout out to all the reviewers and followers. You are literally the only reasons I am still doing this with my busy schedule.

Help make it better by reviewing. I need your opinions.

xx LK


	3. Departure

******Disclaimer: **I am a teenage wanna-be writer – so the opposite of J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but plot.

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**Departure – Chapter 3**

******Day 31;**

Hermione had been here for a long time; she didn't even know why she continued to go through all the torture she had been enduring through recently.

She was waiting for something to happen. She didn't know what she was waiting for, but she kept waiting anyway.

Hermione just felt so tired. She was so tired of being tortured and being laughed at. She just wanted to sleep and never wake up again.

A deep, heavy sigh erupted from within her throat as she continued to stare off into the nothingness that surrounded her.

Could she just give up? The question that seemed to have forged its way into her mind was constantly testing her strength.

But of course, she could never give up. She got a lot of people to fight for… to live for. Harry and Ron were of her main concerns as of late.

Oh, Ron. She missed him. She should have told him her feelings sooner. He should have known before this war had even coerced into something much worse, before the agonising pain had erupted into her life and stole the happiness like a thief in the night.

This war had ruined everything. She was probably going to die here; it wouldn't be of her own doing. They are going to have to kill her and not without a fight.

**Day 35;**

Hermione sat up instinctively after she heard rustling from the other side. She begrudgingly rubbed her eyes with her balled up fist and narrowed her eyes, if only to see what was on the other side of the room.

She then remembered groggily that a girl came into the cell after being captured and tortured yesterday.

The girl scrambled to her feet and rushed over to where Hermione was sitting. "You're Hermione Granger," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone and Hermione could hear the smile on her face.

Hermione stared at her blankly. There were no emotions to be brought to her face. She could see the girl's shoulders slump as Hermione didn't greet her with a sweet welcome and a warm embrace.

What did she expect? That Hermione would jump up with joy for seeing the girl. Hermione knew the girl's fate and there was no point in showing tactful happiness.

"Everyone is looking for you, though some don't believe the Death Eaters when they say you are alive."

She nodded at the girl urging her to continue. She wanted to know what was going on out there.

"With every raid, the elder fighters say they are getting closer and closer to you."

Hermione perked up at this. The news brought her hope.

"Wait till I get out of this place, they will be so happy that their efforts aren't for nothing."

Hermione fought the urge to laugh in the girls face. How naïve of her to think she would be able to escape here after one day. She would be lucky if she lasted another 24 hours in this place.

Although she might be a special case like herself, but that was highly unlikely.

**Day 42; Hour 9**

Her stomach growled gently in an almost pleading manner.

It had been weeks since she had eaten something decent. Hermione was used to body pains though. The lack of proper sleep gave her reoccurring headaches, and her stomach jolted with pain from the lack of nutrition quite often.

But she learned to ignore it, or embrace it; at least the pain meant she was alive. That is better than nothing right?

Hermione gently, or as gently as she could, ran her fingers through her hair. She could feel the taut knots building in the back of her head. The dirt and grime was becoming a permanent stain in her hair, and she wasn't sure her hair would ever be the same again.

Oh how she would love a bath or a brush. Maybe she should cut it all off when she got out of here. She let that thought linger as she began to let out a weak sob from deep inside her chest.

She didn't know if she would ever get out of here. It scared her. She wasn't ready to die. She wanted to live past this war, past the hurt and pain that resided in the eyes of so many people.

**Day 42; Hour 14**

"Get up, Mudblood. It's time to say your final goodbyes to this place." The Death Eater said as he entered the cell and with a swift motion gripped at her arm and forced her out of the cell.

She heard these words and Hermione immediately panic had begun to etch its way into her thoughts. She began to shake uncontrollably and her brain was racing with worry and fear.

They can't do this to her. It just wasn't possible that they would kill her and without warning. Maybe that was the warning.

The big doors were pushed open and she was instantly blinded by the light that cascaded over her face. The sun was so bright; she hadn't seen daylight in so long. It seemed to be mid-afternoon. She started to inwardly laugh at herself. Here she was about to die and she was contemplating the time of day.

Hermione was thrown to the gravel road; she let out a whimper after her palms made contact with some jagged stones poking out. She thought she had just sprained her wrist trying to catch herself. She looked up and saw Draco Malfoy staring down at her - void of all emotions.

All she could think about was whether death was painless or does she suffer before her body shuts down? It freaked her out how just two words could end something as complex as life. It scared her even more that these people could end it without a second thought or remorse afterwards.

Hermione kept staring at Malfoy; he stared back at her. She saw movement all around her but she couldn't look away from him. He seems more troubled lately. The bags under his eyes indicated that he hadn't been getting enough sleep or nutrition; either would bring him to looking like a shell of himself. She was brought out of her thoughts of his appearance when someone spoke.

"Do it, Draco, so we can leave before they get here. We can't risk any more time being wasted here."

Draco was going to kill her. No. No, it can't be him. He can't do it. But she was proven wrong when he lifted his wand and points it to her face. Her body tensed up and she closed her eyes; tears began staining her cheeks.

She felt the impact of the spell and everything went black.

**Day 43; Hour 2**

A dull throb was pounding in her head, She didn't want to open her eyes; is this what death felt like?

She open my eyes and realised she was in another dungeon.

She began to laugh. She didn't know why but she did and she didn't stop. She thought they were going to kill her; they just relocated her.

She wondered why she wasn't able to know where the location was. It's not like she was going off and telling anyone. Death Eaters are bloody confusing.

Hermione sat there and embraced the fact that she had been spared her life. She didn't care how confusing the Death Eaters were. She was still alive and that's all that mattered to her at this point.

Hermione sat up from her lying position and looked around the room. She was unable to see anything around her due to the darkness that surrounded her. It was always dark and that scared her now more than ever.

The door was thrown open, and it startled her into standing position. Light began to shine through the small room. Draco Malfoy walked in red-faced.

She couldn't tell what emotion he was feeling. It was like a mix of anger, relief, and anguish all mixed up in one.

She had so many questions for him, but didn't know how to ask him. Why is he coming to see her? Why was she still here, alive?

Draco was walking towards her with his wand out, pointed at her. A red light escaped the tip and the wall behind her was singed with black; she yelped and jumped a few kilometres in the air. Why did he just do that? My unasked questioned was answered before she got the actual chance to ask it.

"My father is dead."

Hermione stared at him. Why is he telling her this?

She wanted to laugh at his face and tell him his father deserved to be dead, but it doesn't escape her lips. She could tell he was emotional about it.

"I'm sorry." It came out before she was able to stop herself or think about what she spoke before she had spoken it.

He looks up at her, shock present in his expression. "Don't be. He was a sick, cruel man. He deserved it."

He stared at her for a few more seconds before speaking again, he sighed. "I can see in your eyes that you have many questions, why don't you ask me?"

"I really am sorry. He may have been those things you said, but he was still your family and I can understand how upsetting that can be."

"I am not upset that he died! I am pissed that I wasn't able to kill him myself," he spat venomously at Hermione and it caused her to back away a bit.

She stared at him in shock. Why would he want to kill his own father? Again it was like he was reading her mind and he answered her unasked question aloud.

"He made my life hell, forcing me to do things I had no plans of doing myself; it's his fault that I'm the way that I am. I wish I was able to end his life, like he ended mine. Your lover, Weasley, killed him." He spoke the last part as an afterthought.

Hermione's face turned a slight shade of pink when he mentioned Ron as her lover.

"Ron isn't my lover." she said softly, tucking a ruthless stray behind her ear.

She cleared her throat and looked back up at him. She began to speak in a stronger tone. "Why am I still alive and being held captive?"

"They don't want to lose this war, and they are going to great lengths to make sure Voldemort's plan is successful, even with him dead. You're still alive because they think it will lure your precious Potter to them. They are always going on and on about you being alive; bragging about how they were able to capture you and how they torture you."

She couldn't believe he actually told her all this. She didn't really expect him to be so reluctant to tell her about their Death Eater plans.

"Why are you telling me this? You are one of them," she said this in a whisper. Not really believing what she just said, she was a little shocked at what she was thinking.

How could she entertain thoughts that Draco was becoming good? It wasn't possible. He was a horrible person and he didn't deserve to be forgiven for anything that he had done; he didn't have the right to explain himself or his actions. He just didn't. Bad people aren't deserving of that.

He didn't seem phased about what she had just said and that proved her point. He didn't get angry; he was completely void of any emotion he might be feeling and that annoyed her. She couldn't read him.

He was a closed book -under lock and key- filled with so many secrets and emotions that didn't want to be discovered. She wanted to figure him out, but it was just too hard.

"You asked, so I'm answering. You've been here for over a month. A lot has happened; a lot of people are dead."

"Do you know of anyone whom we went to school with that's dead?" She didn't think she could handle hearing people that she knew or loved were dead. It was already hard enough knowing she was stuck in this cell not able to do anything to help the Order… that so many people are dying and she stuck in here with a few scratches from being tortured.

"Fred Weasley's dead. My father killed him, which is why your lover Weasley killed my father. Our old DADA Professor, the werewolf, he died a few weeks ago along with his wife."

Hermione lost it. After hearing one of the Weasley's was dead and Remus and Tonks. She didn't want to hear anymore. She couldn't handle it. She was sobbing, and she had fallen against the wall and began to slide down; she pulled her knees up to her chest and just let cries of pain out.

Malfoy sat there beside her, not saying anything just staring up at the ceiling while she cried.

That's all she needed. To know someone was giving her company. She wished she had Ron to hold her, and Harry to whisper in her ear that everything was going to get better.

She didn't have that though, and she knew nothing would get better. She would just lose more people that she knew and loved and it will just bring her more sorrow.

**Day 47;**

Hermione wanted to be with the Weasleys' right now. She needed to know that George was okay. Oh Molly… she know she was not taking his death well. She missed them so much.

She wondered how Harry was taking all of this. He never could take death well. She wished she could hug all of them and be in their presence.

She wondered who was taking care of Teddy. He was going to have to live his whole life not knowing how wonderful his parents were.

She began to cry softly.

She had been like this for the past few days; crying at random times of the day. It was beginning to be too much.

**Day 53;**

"You get one meal a day and you are seriously not going to eat? How can you not be hungry?" Malfoy is staring at Hermione in disbelief.

"I'm just not. I don't know why. I haven't been hungry for a few days." She got this way when she was upset. She wasn't protesting anything, like that time she didn't eat the schools food for a week for House Elf Welfare; she was merely a pit of nothingness. She knew she should probably force herself to eat, but she just couldn't find the energy or care of keeping herself nourished.

Draco was staring at her and she could see the anger boiling up inside of him. He grabbed the spoon and shovelled up some soup. "Open your mouth Granger; you are not going to die from starving yourself."

She kept her lips compressed together for a moment. She wasn't really sure she wanted Draco Malfoy to hand feed her. It seemed rather odd… no, not odd, surreal, like this could be a dream. Why would she be dreaming about Malfoy feeding her?

In the end, Hermione complied with his wish and opened her mouth wide enough for the spoon to fit past her lips. Her taste buds are rejoicing and her stomach was finally at ease.

After a few shovels, the food was gone and Hermione sat there satisfied and less weak.

"I don't want to have to do that again. Eat your food, Granger, or next time I will be forced to go to drastic measures."

She nodded her head, not really wanting to talk.

She knew that she was finally beginning to lose hope that she would never be able to leave this place. She honestly just wanted to die. The bright witch knew that was horrible to say, but she couldn't help but feel that way.

"You can't give up yet."

She looked up at him a little bemused by his intuition. It was like he was reading her mind. Oh. Wait. He probably can do Legilimens.

"Why do you care if I give up or not Malfoy? Last time I checked I was nothing to you. I don't want to do this anymore. I am not able to help anyone by being here. I am a ploy to get Harry here, and that might kill him. I can't- won't- be the reason for his death." Silent tears were falling on her cheeks while she spoke and they didn't stop when she had stopped talking.

"You know it might hurt him more knowing he didn't make in time to save you, did you ever think of that?" He asked the question but didn't allow her to answer.

He scoffed with a roll of his eyes at her and continued. "Of course you didn't; you're still narrow-minded I see." he sighed, "You really need to work on that Granger. Stupidity doesn't look good on you."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I am not narrow-minded, Malfoy." She let out a breath, "I just can't handle the pain anymore. It is eating me alive. I feel like if I have to endure anymore of this, the pain will swallow me whole and I won't be able to find my way back once I am gone."

He stared at her for a good bit contemplating what she had just confessed.

She still couldn't believe she had even confided her feelings to him, Malfoy of all people.

Although, now he was probably going to make fun of her and call her weak for being, well, weak.

He looked up at the ceiling before he spoke. "Just think of Weasley and Potter whenever you feeling that way. Think of surviving for them and them alone…" His eyes meet hers and they are locked with each other. "If you can't survive for yourself, survive for them."

* * *

That's it for Chapter 3. I hope you were left wanting more. I will more than likely have Chapter 4 up tomorrow and that will more than likely be it until the weekend again. I might be able to do a little chapter revising over the week, but I'm not promising another chapter. A quick shout out to the reviewers and followers. You guys are awesome and I love you all. If I had the energy and time to write all your names down I would, but alas, I'm in no mood for more work. I am a lazy person, deal with it. :-)

xx LK

Review. Make me smile, maybe?


	4. Changing

**Disclaimer: **I haven't got any money in my bank account, so it's safe to say I don't own the rights.

* * *

**Changing – Chapter 4**

**Day 56; **

"I'm sick of this!" Harry Potter yelled during a meeting at headquarters. He was irritated and everyone could tell as he gritted his teeth tightly together. "We need to get to Hermione before it's too late. We all know it's been too long already. It's almost been two months!"

Everyone at the meeting was staring at Harry with sympathy and understanding, but it didn't bring him any comfort. He was tired of the looks; he wanted actions. All he wanted was his best friend back, and everything they tried was being outdone by the Death Eaters. It was like they knew their every move before it happened.

Harry sighed in annoyance as he sat back down in his chair and waited for the meeting to end. It was always the same, they would sit here and talk about their efforts for getting Hermione back and then think of new ways to get her back. Their efforts were futile and nothing they tried worked. They needed help.

"Harry, we have to put Hermione on the back burner for now. There are things that need to be taken care of now, before we can get Hermione. There is a war, and we can't have all our fighters being killed to retrieve one person," Kingsley Shacklebolt explained to Harry.

Harry narrowed his eyes at the elder man. "This is not just 'one person', this is Hermione."

"Harry, there is nothing else we can do," he looked to his left and saw Ron looking at him regretfully.

Harry knew there was not much else they could do without losing more people, but that didn't mean that they should all give up, and the fact that Ron was giving up on Hermione just angered him more.

"How could you say that? She is your best friend too!"

"We don't even know if she is still alive, Harry."

Harry could see the tears forming at the base of Ron's eyes, and knew that Ron was having a hard time with this as well.

"I know."

That was all Harry said before the doors flew open and he saw Professor McGonagall standing in the entrance. "I have someone here that is going to help us get Miss Granger back."

Ron stared at the woman shocked with disbelief. "Are you saying we have a secret back-up plan in case any of us were kidnapped?"

"Not exactly, Mister Weasley. He has been part of our ranks for a good while. He had just been kept under wraps in case any of you got kidnapped."

All the major ranked members sat in their seats wanting her to continue on with her speech, but she didn't say anything. Instead she walked away and then came back with the last person any of them had ever thought they'd be seeing again.

Harry was shocked speechless and Ron was sitting over there itching to get out of his seat. There was nothing said for a good while, and everything remained quiet until McGonagall began explaining everything.

* * *

**Day 61;**

Hermione hadn't seen Malfoy for five days. She wondered where he went for so many days. All the other Death Eaters are always in this house planning; scared to leave the residence so the Order can't trace where they are.

She let that thought dissipate as she sat with her back against the wall and began contemplating whether she had a good enough reason to hurt herself, but that was dumb, right? The Death Eaters were already inflicting torture upon her, why torture her wellbeing as well...

It seemed like a good idea to her. It wouldn't be the same sort of pain that the Death Eaters put her through. She couldn't control that pain, but she could control this. She was so used to be in control of her life. Her own personal dictator, but that wasn't possible in this place.

The Death Eaters controlled everything. When she was able to eat, to where she could live, and they even had the control of her life in their hands.

What if she were to kill herself?

Hermione wouldn't usually think so rash, but it seemed like such an easy solution to all her problems. She would no longer have to suffer under the hand of Death Eaters – of Draco Malfoy. Her friends would no longer keep putting themselves as risk by going out of their way to find me. They should be fighting to end the war, and not spending trying to find someone who, for all they knew, was probably already be dead, or, Hermione figured, would be dead before they got the chance to find her.

They couldn't say that the Death Eaters had taken her life. No, she could control what they said about her death.

They wouldn't be able to say she was taken by the hands of a malicious Death Eater; they would say that the life of Hermione Granger was lost by her own doing.

She didn't know which was more noble, death by the enemy or death by your own free will.

They used to do that in times of war, you know. If the soldier knew that they would be taken by the enemy, they would ram their bodies into the sword, killing them instantly. Suicide was once known as a noble act.

She just wasn't sure that would be how her friends saw it.

She thought about Harry and Ron and how they would react, if she were to do this to herself. They wouldn't like it, and she knew that.

That was what was keeping her from harming even attempting to end her own life - her friends.

That talk with Malfoy did help her with that. He told her to think about Harry and Ron when and if she ever felt the need to die and doing that helped Hermione.

**Day 68;**

"Malfoy, you can still seriously still be harping on that?" she said with a dramatic eye roll. "I'm not narrow-minded, I choose not to listen to your excuses for your life choices," she sneered at him.

Draco grabbed her arms and shoved her rather roughly, but not enough to knock her over onto her arse. It made Hermione see red. She still listened to him speak though. "Why don't you understand that it wasn't my choice? I didn't choose this life; it was thrust upon me at birth!"

"I swear to God. You touch me again!" Hermione was yelling at him and she began to poke at his chest with the tip of her index finger. "You may have not have chosen to be brought into this lifestyle, but you didn't choose to get out of it either! You're as much at fault as your dolt father."

"Enlighten me, Granger. How could I have chosen to get out of it? I was sixteen for fucks sake. I was forced to get the Dark Mark because of my father's idiocy." He was angry, angrier than he had ever been. "You know what? I don't need to explain myself to you. You're nothing in my life."

"You could have refused!"

"You don't understand! You never will because you don't want to. If I had refused, the Dark Lord would have killed my family and me. I had to do it."

They were in each other's face now; both their cheeks were flushed from the anger and their breaths were mixed together from their exertion. They stayed like that for a long while; she was the first one to back away.

Anger flashed in her eyes, and she wanted nothing but to bop him upside his head. Hermione was not narrow-minded. He had a choice, he always had a choice, and he was and will forever remain the enemy. It doesn't matter what he says, her opinion on him and his decisions will never change.

She could never see him in a better light because he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve a second chance. Someone as cruel and ruthless as him could never see things differently. Hermione didn't even think someone like Malfoy was even capable of changing.

"People change, Granger." He brought her out of her thoughts and she looked back up at him.

"Not you," she said with so much venom, she even scared herself.

"How do you know?" His anger was peaking back up again. She could see the heat form across his cheek.

"You're still here, are you not? You haven't changed one bit. You're still the rude, loathsome, evil little cockroach you were back in third year. You're just worse now," she said eerily calm, because she didn't have the energy to raise her voice anymore.

"And you're still an annoying, narrow-minded know-it-all." he huffs back at her and walks out of the cell.

He's so irksome! Hermione just wanted to punch him in the face multiple times and even then that wouldn't be enough to satisfy the urges she had to hurt him.

**Day 74;**

Hermione was screaming. The pain was unbearable. It was much, much worse today. She felt like her lungs were going to explode from the lack of oxygen. She cried out and tears were steadily falling down her dirt-streaked face, but no one cared to help her in any way. They could all hear her pleads to stop. They didn't pretend they didn't. Some even smiled at the sound, and others stared with a knowing smirk, but no one did anything. She had been being tortured for almost an hour now and her torturer didn't show any sign that he wanted to stop or that he was going to. She was the main entertainment for the evening; it was sickening that it was even allowed.

Malfoy was among the Death Eaters. She locked gazes with him a couple of times. He sat there and watched everything with blank emotions on his expression. It was almost unnerving how calm he seemed.

He's void of any emotion was what irked her the most with this whole thing. Why doesn't he show anything? He must be feeling something! He was probably pleased that she was finally getting her just reward after their argument days ago.

"Alright," she heard Malfoy's voice speak up and she was a little shocked that it was Malfoy that began to speak. "I believe she's had enough. We don't want her going crazy. That wouldn't be any fun, now would it?" He smirked at the other men which turned her stomach. They all began to guffaw as Malfoy's words. Her torturer looked disappointed that he had to quit but stopped nonetheless. Hermione was sure that if it were up to him, he would have continued for another hour or so.

After the curse was lifted from the shaking witch, she began taking huge gulps of air and started coughing violently. She could feel the stickiness around her and knew that she surrounded by her own blood. She couldn't tell where half of the blood was coming from and that scared her the most. What if she bleeds out? She felt dizzy and everything had gone blurry.

A bunch of the Death Eaters began to make their way out of the room. They had forced her out of her cell and she was currently in one of the many rooms that were available in the manor that they had taking over. Hermione didn't know how she was going to get back down to her cell without hurting herself in the process, but the next thing that happened was that she was being levitated back to her cell. She didn't know who was doing it, but she was thankful for whoever it was.

When she gets there, she saw that Malfoy was the one taking her back. He laid her down and before she knew it, he was casting healing charms on her and she began feeling a lot better than she had originally felt. He conjured her up a goblet, performed the Aguamenti spell, and helped her drink. She drank in a reckless manner and she did get some on herself but she could care less. Her tongue tasted like sandpaper before she was giving the water.

She looked up at him with tears rolling down her face. "Thank you," she whispered to him. Her voice was sore and hoarse from the yelling. He just nodded his head and left her. She fell asleep rather quickly.

**Day 78;**

Hermione stayed laid up on her cell floor and cried for hours. She didn't want to weakness or defeat, but she was so sick and tired of everything.

She wanted to see her friends again. She wanted out of here.

**Day 82;**

"Mudblood, your food is by the door, come and get it. I don't want to come near you."

She laughed at the stupidity of the man's words as he gave her the food. She couldn't help it. "Are you afraid to catch dirty blood?" She began to laugh harder as she finished talking.

Then she began screaming. She was on fire. She burned and burned. She couldn't see the fire, but she felt it and it hurt, hurt so much. She only wanted it to end. Why God? Why? Please just make it stop. Stop the pain.

It stopped just like that. "Never laugh at me again, you Mudblood whore!" He spit on her and then left the room with the slam of the door. Darkness surrounded her and she sat there clenching and unclenching her jaw. The anger was evident on her expression. It took all it had in her to not slap that man across the face when he was in her room.

**Day 88;**

Hermione's cell door was opened causing her to look up as the light streamed in from the door. Malfoy walked in with a sheepish grin on his face. It made her nervous and she had no idea what was going to happen to her.

"You want to do something, Granger?" He stared at me with a hopeful stare which confused her even more. Was he on drugs?

"Yeah, sure. Let's play Hide & Seek. You hide and I'll stay right here and never find you," She said sarcastically and sent a smirk his way before getting serious. "What could I possibly do in a dungeon?"

"You could always leave it."

Has he gone completely barmy? "How do you suppose I do that, 'Hey, don't mind me. I'm just going for a stroll in the garden.' Yeah, I would get stupefied faster than you can even think properly."

"I won't let you get hurt, just come on." He held out his hand expecting her to grab a hold of it.

She looked at him in disbelief. "You expect me to believe that? Trust is earned, Malfoy, I can't just magically hand it over to you. You've not given me any reason as to why I should trust you."

"Bloody Hell, Granger, just come on!"

Well, she did think getting out of this cell would be nice. It had been a week or so since she had last been outside. Well, actually, the last time she was outside, she thought she was going to get executed, so that probably didn't count for much. "Alright, I'll go with you" she said, grabbing a hold of his hand still a little unsure of her decision. God, she hoped she didn't get hurt.

He led her out of the cell and to the front entrance; not once did they run into anyone. It seemed like an abandoned house at this point. There wasn't stray noise coming from anywhere. It was like it was only them two there.

They reached the door and he stops and turned and stared at me. "If you try to run away, I will have to bind you, and I'm sure the others will know which wouldn't be good for you or me."

He opened the doors and the sunlight was bright and warm, showering her with a promise of hope. She stood there soaking up the sunlight for a good few minutes. She felt a tug on her shoulder and saw that Malfoy was pushing her towards a garden.

"You said you wanted to take a stroll in one." He looked at Hermione with a cheeky grin as they walked close together.

She was in awe with the view of everything that surrounded her. There were bushes of roses and other flowers she had no clue as to what their names were. The fountain in the middle of it brought the whole thing together. She was happy she had decided to go out here with Malfoy.

Malfoy and Hermione walked in the garden and talked; well, they argued more than they talked. But there was not mention of the War. They didn't talk about death, life, or the past. They just talked and Hermione enjoyed it. She never knew it would be so easy to converse with someone like him.

"No, Malfoy, you're wrong. The Fluxweed must be picked at the full moon, not quarter. It's a wonder how you passed Potions as well as you did."

"How would you know? Memorized all the books, I suppose. Bloody know-it-all Gryffindor."

"Actually, I brewed in our second year in Myrtle's bathroom, and the potion called for it. Thank you very much!" Yes, she was gloating. Polyjuice Potion was one of the hardest potions to brew and she did it at the age of 13. She was quite proud of herself. That was, until she turned into a cat.

"How did you not get caught?" he asked astounded by her words.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly, I have no clue. We stole from Snape. How he never caught us was pure luck." She said with a terse laugh.

"You, Potter, and Weasel always got away with everything. I don't understand how though," he shook his head and sighed.

Somewhere along the way and during one of their many conversations, Draco and Hermione ended up sitting in the grass in front of the many bushels of roses.

Hermione looked up at the sky as it turned to dusk, the moon was just above. It was still daylight, but she knew that it wouldn't stay like that much any longer.

"I miss moments like these." Hermione spoke as she looked over a Malfoy who was sitting there looking rather stoic. He turned and looked at her with a quirked brow. "Carefree. Innocent. Pleasantly relaxing moments," she continued with a smile planted on her lips as she breathed in the fresh air that surrounded her senses.

It stayed quiet for a while as they both sat there in each other's presence.

"Do you think someone's past mistakes can define them for the rest of their life?"

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows together and looked at Malfoy to make sure he was being serious. He was and she was taken by surprise.

She sat there and thought about the question before finally speaking.

"Sometimes, your mistakes from the past can keep you from moving forward. It can only define you if you allow it to define you. People can change. I – I guess it just depends on the person and if they're willing to make that change." Hermione spoke and observed Malfoy.

Maybe Malfoy can change, if he really wants to change. He acted differently today. She didn't expect it to be a permanent change in him. She didn't know if she could actually see him changing. He will always be the same, and she probably wouldn't ever be able to forgive him. He isn't someone she could forgive overnight.

Wounds took time to heal and some wounds never will heal completely; they leave big nasty scars that remind you of the past and the pain you went through to get that specific wound. Time can only heal so much of it.

She could feel his piercing gaze on her as her thoughts overwhelmed her.

She met his gaze as he began to speak again.

"What if the people around you can't accept that change or aren't willing to look past the original flaws?"

She looked down after his words, and she couldn't but feel like that question was directly aimed toward her.

"Some people need more time. Some people aren't willing because of past resentment. The years of hurt that they brought upon them is sometimes much greater than the little bit of kindness they've received for a short period of time."

She didn't know if Malfoy was truly changing his ways. He didn't show remorse very well, if it were true. He was still claiming to be a Death Eater, yet he was sitting here asking her these questions that made no sense at all.

Hermione didn't understand him at all, and probably never will.

He nodded his head as if he had found the answer he was searching for all along.

They stared up at the stars for a while; then Malfoy stood up, and she followed suit. "Come on, I should probably get you back in the cell before the others return," he said rather quietly.

They walk back to her cell in complete silence.

Right before he left the cell, she spoke up. "Thanks, Malfoy, for today."

He looked back at her and shook his head as if he was telling her 'no'. "Yeah, don't mention it. Goodnight, Granger."

With that, he left. Hermione thought back on the day, and she actually had fun today. The conversations remained, for the most part, rather civil.

She sighed as the laid down on the dingy floor.

What would Harry and Ron say if they knew she was having civil conversations with the ferret? She laughed at herself. She relied too heavily on their opinions of her actions. She really needed to stop thinking like that.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed that little bit of Dramione bonding. I will more than likely have another chapter for you by the end of the week. I sat in class today and had an epitome of ideas pop in my head. It was rather nice. I probably should have been paying attention to my teacher, but I'll live.

Giving thanks to all my followers and reviewers. You guys are awesome and I love every single one of you! *Virtual Hug to all of you* I hope you receive it nice and warm. :-)

xxLK

Review and leave me smiling.


	5. Hope

**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

This is a rather short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I will more than likely be posting another chapter today because I have nothing to do and I feel like being productive little bunny. I can't promise my creativity is in top shape today, but I will attempt to make a better chapter out of the next one. :-)

_Here in the next week or so I will be getting rather busy with my English term paper due in March and I won't have that much free time on the weekends or during the week to get much revising and rewriting done, but I promise to be as active as possible.  
_Read and Review

xxLK

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**Hope – Chapter 5**

**Day 96;**

It's a hard concept to understand - the art of forgiveness. Just the word alone causes people to think of the negative aspects of each other's lives. It's hard to imagine a world without forgiveness. Without forgiveness, life would be unbearable. Without forgiveness, our lives are chained, forced to carry the sufferings of the past.

We may still be suffering terribly from the past while those who betrayed us are on vacation. It is painful to hate. Without forgiveness, we continue to maintain the illusion that hate can heal our pain and the pain of others.

Hermione read this somewhere. She couldn't quite remember where, but it was still there in her mind, no matter where she read it.

The thought of forgiving Malfoy was like a distant nightmare that she couldn't help but cringe at the very thought of it. She didn't think she would ever be able to truly forgive Malfoy for everything he's done to her. He hadn't apologized to her, so why should she forgive him. She hated him for what he had done to her and others like her and for what his family had done.

She couldn't help but compare him to his father. It was inevitable that he would grow up to be exactly like his father. He won't want to change his beliefs or his morals that he had grown up with and lived by for so long. He'll always be the same Draco Malfoy Hermione grew up with. He couldn't change.

**Day 102;**

"I had a friend tell me once that we all have both light and dark inside us… what matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." She looked Malfoy in the eyes as she said this. She could tell his brain was working out everything she had just said.

"You can't seriously agree with that rubbish. What moron said that?"

She looked at him in disbelief; she couldn't believe he had the nerve to say something like that.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Remus Lupin said those words to me and you don't want to agree with them because you've chosen the dark within yourself. That's who you are and it's pathetic."

He sneered at her before he began speaking.

"People change though. You could be the biggest saint and still murder someone; you could even be the vilest person and help someone in trouble. It happens, you're just too ignorant to notice it or you notice it but you don't want to accept it. You're stuck on the notion that everything is black and white, but you should understand that life is colourful, and it has so many different shades." His words were enticing and he spoke with raw power, but with every word he spoke, Hermione began to see red.

Her face was turning into shades of pink with rage that was boiling up inside her.

"I know people can change, Malfoy! It's common knowledge that people do. I wasn't saying that people can't when I said that; I'm just not ignorant enough to think that someone like you can!" It was out of her mouth before she could think about it; she felt regret, but she had no idea why. She smacked her palm on her forehead and looked at him with guilt in her eyes.

"It's nice to know your true feelings, Granger," he sneered at her and left the room with a slam of the door.

**Day 105;**

"I just don't think this idea is going to work," Ron spoke as they made their way down an eerie hallway of a Death Eaters abandoned manor.

Harry Potter turned to look at his ginger haired friend with a scowl on his face. This was not the first time his friend had voiced is opinion about the solution Professor McGonagall had presented to all of them a few weeks ago. A lot of the members had protested to the idea, but she wouldn't hear any of it. She knew, or she thought she knew, for a fact that this was the only answer to their current situation involving Hermione.

Harry, on the other hand, knew for a fact that this was ultimately the only option they had left, and he was more than willing to give it a try.

"We'll never know it will work, if we shoot the idea down all together. He is already working to save Hermione."

"You can't seriously be on his side right now."

"I never said I was on his side, Ron. I just think this is the best option we have."

"Basically you're on his side," Ron said with a roll of his eyes. "He is nothing but trouble. Hermione might end up dead because of him."

Harry was about to retort on Ron's accusations but a curse came hurdling at them out of nowhere, and Harry had to quickly regain his smarts and get back on task at hand before they all ended up dead.

He didn't have to think much before he saw who it was that threw the curse at them.

"Watch were you pointing that damned thing!" Ron yelled out.

"Don't worry it wasn't anything fatal to you, Weasley, yet anyway."

Harry sighed and looked at the two men in front of him, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I've come to let you know that everything has fallen into place. They don't suspect anything. It's still going to take a while before we can act on these plans."

"How long are you thinking exactly?" Ron said through gritted teeth.

"A few weeks or months, it really only depends on what's going on during the duration of our attempt."

"MONTHS! This is not going to take months!" Ron yelled out.

Harry was beginning to get a headache from all this sneaking around only to meet up with their new ally. It was getting more and more dangerous as the war got closer to ending. He just hoped that they'd be able to pull this off. It was easy to talk about their plans, but to put them into action was another thing all together.

"Let's stop arguing and go back out there and fight. I'm sure our members are already wandering were we all are," Harry spoke with ambiguity and then turned to leave the other boys behind as he walked out of the manor and into the battle ensuing outside as they were discussing Hermione's rescue.

The other two then realised what Harry said and followed suit after him.

**Day 111;**

He had not visited her for a few days and she actually missed his company.

She began to regret ever sharing how she felt about him. It would have been better left in the dark.

It was too late now.

**Day 118; Hour 23**

They began torturing her more often than usual. She hadn't seen Draco in so many days. It was like he disappeared. He was never there to stop the torturing from happening and it went on forever, at least it felt as if it did.

She was brought out of her thoughts by another sharp pain convulsing through her whole body and screamed out from the suffering. She felt like her body was being torn to pieces and sewn back together only to be torn apart again. Every limb and muscle was on fire and nothing she did could extinguish the flame that had built itself inside of her. It kept going. When would it end?

She felt like she might be losing herself to the pain; she couldn't keep anything in focus, but it stopped right before she lost all sense of consciousness. They didn't want her to pass out; they wanted to torture her for as long as they could. They let out their anger on her. If they are happy, they tortured her merely to have a good laugh. It's sadistic and barbaric.

If it kept going on like this, she might eventually end up being one of the permanent patients in St Mungo's or dead. She couldn't help but think that she would prefer to be dead at this point.

There's laughter all around her. They were celebrating something; this definitely wasn't for anger problems.

She, still being curious, wished she knew why they were celebrating. She knew it couldn't be anything good that happened to the Order. Why were they celebrating?

"Want to know what we are celebrating, do you now?" Laughter had erupted once more all around the room. She hadn't realized that she had spoken out loud. The torturing was beginning to get to her. She wouldn't be surprised if they finally caused her to lose her mind soon.

"Well, I will tell you, Mudblood. We destroyed one of the Orders hideouts and killed many of their peoplel. It was quite enjoyable… for us anyway." He let out a manic laughter and it caused Hermione to cringe from fear and anger.

She stared at him, not wanting to believe anything that he said, but why would he be lying about celebrating a victory. It brought her sorrow because she knew that more people that she knew are now dead and she didn't even know who. She wasn't really sure she wanted to know who was killed. It would only cause her more depression and misery.

**Day 119; Hour 2**

A lot of the Death Eaters started retreating to their rooms and she was left on the ground crying and bleeding. She didn't think they were going to bring her back to her cell and she was in too much pain to get up and go there herself, so she laid there and waited for something to happen. She didn't know if she would ever be able to move. They would probably torture her again, if they saw her still lying on the ground when they awoke in the morning.

**Day 119; Hour 7**

"Granger!" she heard someone yell, but she just grunted in response. She was finally able to stop the pain and fall asleep. Why would she wake up?

"Granger, what are you doing in here?" She heard a hiss and she opened her eyes to see a blonde haired boy staring down at her.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed? Get up and go back to the cell!"

She laid there and stared up at Malfoy until he finally stopped talking. She tried to comply with his wishes but she only whimpered as pain from earlier enabled her from moving her body. She tried again but a deeper groan erupted from her lips and she felt the tears beginning to form. Her body was beginning to shut off on itself from all the torturing it has endured.

She felt arms go under her and she was being picked up off the ground and carried away from the room. Malfoy wasn't using the levitating charm… He was actually carrying her. All of a sudden, a sense of ease washes over her and she didn't even try to resist it or analyse why she feeling this way. All she knew was her body was finally relaxed and that's all she could ever ask for at this point.

Hermione looked up at him and noticed a few cuts and bruises along his face and neck. They weren't recent either. They were the yellow bruises and the cuts were half healed.

"Where have you been?" she croaked out, her voice was still rough from screaming all day.

"I've just been away, Granger. It doesn't concern you right now," he replied, not giving her much to work with. He really should learn to not be so cryptic. It was beginning to get on her nerves.

"Right now?" she spoke softly and was a bit confused by that. "Why would anything concern me at this point? I'm nothing to you people; a play toy, something that can be thrown away when you're bored," she persisted, trying to extract information from him.

She wanted to know where he went for so many days. They had just won a major battle, he was not one of the people celebrating, and she wanted to know why.

He was about to speak but she didn't give him the opportunity.

"Why were you not here celebrating with the rest of the Death Eaters, Malfoy? Where could you have gone in the middle of a war that is more important than winning a battle?"

"Bloody Hell, Granger, would you just shut up! I'm not answering your questions. It isn't any of your business and we're going to keep it that way. I have more important things to do than celebrate over one victory." He had venom in his voice; his face had contorted in anger.

She stopped pestering him. There was no need to get him angrier at her than he already was. She didn't feel like being tortured by him as well.

"Don't worry about me, Granger." She could hear the smirk in his voice without having to see it for herself. "I'll be fine."

"I wasn't worried about you, prat. I just want to know. I'm curious." She spoke defiantly. She wasn't worried about Malfoy, and she never will be.

"Being held captive and you still don't know when to not be a know-it-all." She could tell he wanted to laugh, she heard it in his voice. That would be a really weird thing to hear come out of Malfoy. She couldn't picture him laughing at anything. She only ever saw smirks and half smiles coming from him.

"What can I say? It's merely in my nature to be curious," she said with an airy tone.

"Yeah, and your curious ways are going to get you killed one day. You bleeding Gryffindors are all the same."

They had reached the dungeons and Draco had placed her on the floor. Hermione tried to balance herself to stand and it worked. She turned to him and began talking again.

"Curiosity killed the cat," she spoke in an all knowing voice and then realised Malfoy probably had never heard that saying.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, Muggle saying."

"Why would a cat be killed for a person being curious?"

"I don't know. It is just a saying Muggle's made up," she shrugged her shoulders as she spoke. "I don't really understand it myself."

"Well, that's just dumb." His face contorted into something she had never seen before.

She began to laugh because of the face he just made. She knew this was her first genuine laugh in a long time and it felt good and Malfoy joined in the laughter after a few minutes.

They both doubled-over and red-faced trying to catch their breath by the time they began to calm down. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and for the first time, in a long time, it wasn't because of pain, sadness, or a mixture of the both.

"I'm sorry," she said between breaths, "but your face… it was hilarious."

He chuckled, "I'm glad you find my face so bloody funny. I'd say the same about yours, but you have the most ridicules laugh I've ever heard. I feel bad for Potter and Weasley now, having to have had to listen to it all the time."

She slapped him across the arm. "Prat," she laughed again breathlessly.

"Owe!" he exclaimed, rubbing his arm, mumbling under his breathe. "Bloody know-it-all Gryffindor."

They stood there contemplating everything that had taken place between the two of them. It was a strange turn of events. But she couldn't say she didn't enjoy it.

They stared at each other for a few minutes before Malfoy tilted his head forward and retreated for the door.

He turned his toward hers. Hermione was still staring at him walk, so she caught his stare. "You should sleep," he said softly and walked out of the room.

Hermione sat on the floor and leaned her body against the wall. She couldn't sleep after the events that had just transpired around her. It was too odd and Hermione was trying to analyse these events. It was to no avail though. She couldn't figure Draco Malfoy out and it was driving her crazy.

**Day 127;**

Malfoy and Hermione had been seeing a lot of each other recently. He always came by her cell - and not just when he had to bring her food. He came out of the blue and they would sit there and chat, fight tooth and nail, then chat some more.

It had become sort of a routine. It was nice to have some kind of routine now. She enjoyed herself a lot.

It was weird how easily they could communicate with each other. It was like talking to Harry and even Ron to her. It was like she had them back with her, and she didn't have a problem with Malfoy helping her feel like she had them again. He had Ron's killer sarcasm and humour -he might even be funnier- and he also possessed Harry's understanding nature, which is weird. She never expected her grey eyed enemy to be the understanding type.

It might be a stupid thing to think, but she was regaining her sense of hope, and it was a wonderful feeling.

She didn't want this to end, but she knew it would in the in end.

Hope was a very dangerous thing to claim to have in times like these. In the end, it would only cause pain when all that she hoped and dreamed for was taken away from her in a blink of an eye. Hope bred eternal misery.

She didn't want to get her hopes up, but in this moment, she couldn't help but feel hopeful that things would change. The torturing had stopped and she was beginning to regain her strength again. Hermione was able to think normally again, and her clarity was coming back to her.

She was still scared that she could even think that there was some kind of hope, but it was better than wanting to die.


	6. Torn

**Disclaimer: **Characters do not belong to me.

* * *

**Torn – Chapter 6**

**Day 137;**

She was hearing rumours about the Order cracking down on all the Death Eaters' hide outs. A lot of them are being caught - they're getting worried. Hermione was finding it quite hilarious actually. They wanted to use her as a ploy to get them here, but they're still scared about being killed in the process. It made no sense at all. They're all cowards.

These Death Eaters should really refrain from talking about these things while she is being tortured by them. If they thought she couldn't hear them, they are a lot more moronic than she first thought.

**Day 145;**

"You'd be surprised how many of the Death Eaters have already been caught by the Order."

Malfoy was talking to about Death Eater's business again. Hermione didn't know why he kept doing this. Maybe it was his way to vent, but whatever the reason was she let him talk to her about it. It's always like this, he would talk, and she would listen. Sometimes she put her input in, but that didn't happen often, so mostly he talked. It helped him, she supposed, knowing he had someone he could talk to. She didn't understand her reasoning with wanting to help him. Maybe it's her need to always want to help people or it could be her not wanting to be alone.

She didn't like being alone, not now. She used to always like having her moments of solitude, but it's so lonely now.

"Everything is set up. All the Death Eaters are going to be in one Manor while you're being kept here."

She had just spaced out again. She didn't even realise it, so now she missed everything he had said.

"Why? I thought they wanted me everywhere they go. Why are they leaving without me?" Hermione asked confusion eating at her. She really should stop spacing. Then she might, for once, know what Malfoy is always blabbing on about.

"I just explained everything to you, if you aren't going to listen I might as well be talking to the brick wall behind you," he said with annoyance dripping off his tongue.

"I'm sorry, I just got caught up in my own thoughts," she apologized.

"Yeah, alright, you're forgiven, just this once." He smiled cheekily, and then cleared his throat before speaking again. "They want them to think you're there and they're going to do a surprise attack. Only a few Death Eaters are going to be located here."

Hermione furrowed her brow and looked at Malfoy, "Are you going to be here?" There was concern in her voice and she didn't understand why she was showing concern about him.

"Yes, I'll be here that day." He said smirking, noticing the concern in her voice.

Hermione ignored his smirk and asked another question. "How will they know to go there and not here?"

"Bloody Hell, Granger, You must've really been too caught up in your thoughts… I explained this already." Hermione could hear that he was getting annoyed all over again. "They've set up a Death Eater to be caught and give the Order false information."

Hermione was shocked that the Death Eaters thought of something that smart. "That's brilliant. I never thought Death Eaters could actually be smart."

He chuckled a little at her words. "They can't, it was my idea." Then his expression changed and his face went hard; there were no emotions present.

She couldn't think of anything to say. She didn't know why. She figured he would be gloating about being able to think of that, but he's doing the opposite, like he was ashamed of helping them out and that confuses the shite out of her. On another hand, Hermione was pissed off that he would think of that to get my friends hurt. He will be reason more of my loved ones get hurt.

Hermione let a soft sigh escape her lips before she began to speak to Malfoy again. "Well, you were always smart, it doesn't shock me."

He merely stared, like he couldn't believe she had just complimented him. To be honest, Hermione was kind of shocked herself, but she knew it was because she wanted him to show some emotion again. She didn't like not being able to see what he was feeling. He always had this uncanny ability to hide them. There is only one time where he couldn't control his emotions and that was when he was angry. Hermione really enjoyed making him angry because of that. She also liked it when he would laugh - it is so pure and child-like. Oh God, what was she thinking! Stop. She should definitely not be thinking of him like that. He was supposed to her enemy!

Hermione had begun getting angry at herself for the thoughts that had just ran through her mind, and it was showing on her expression. He probably thinks she was angry at him and he wasn't wrong; he's the reason she was thinking like that. It's his entire fault. She wished he would leave her alone and not come back, although she really didn't want that at all. It was just the complete opposite. She didn't want to be left alone, she hated it. It's only that she didn't want to feel the feelings that were beginning to fester up inside her when she was near him. It was unhealthy, insane even. She hated herself for even thinking like that.

"Why are getting angry?" he asked, his voice serious and filled with confusion.

"I'm not!" Hermione screeched out.

"Yes, you are or you wouldn't be yelling!" he yelled at her from the anger that she had caused him, and that angered her even more.

"I am not angry! I don't have a reason to be angry!"

He scoffed at what she said, "Obviously you do! It's me isn't it? You're angry at me for hurting your friends, for helping your enemy! Well, Granger, I'm your enemy. I'm sorry, if you're just now realising this, but that's reality; reality is a bloody bitch, get used to it because it isn't going to change for you!"

"That isn't why I am angry, you arse!" she said and then confusion etched over his expression once again by her spoken words. "No, I'm not even angry!"

"Who are you trying to convince, me or you!"

"You are the most infuriating person I have ever met! You drive me insane and I hate you," she sat there shell-shocked by her confession, but she spoke it again but with a stronger voice than she had before. "I hate you."

"Damn it, Granger, you need to stop! Stop all of this bullshit and tell me what's bothering you!"

"YOU!" she exploded at him. "You're bothering me! Did you not just listen to any word I just spoke? I Hate You." she spoke with anger with a mixture of venom. "You need to leave! Just leave me alone!"

"I see," he said before dismissing himself from the room and leaving Hermione feeling confused by her own outburst, and she stood there looking at the empty space of where he was standing not only five seconds ago.

She did hate him. He's a horrible person, and she hated him so much!

**Day 159;**

Hermione awoke with a start. Beads of sweat were clinging to her forehead, and her chest was heaving up and down at a rapid pace from the rough breathing.

She dreamt about being captured again, but this one was different. Malfoy had brought her in and had tortured her to insanity; it scared her. She didn't want to see him at all today, but she knew it wouldn't be possible. He was constantly coming and seeing her. They'd been getting along great which was a lot better than what it had been, but this dream had only reminded her that he was still the enemy and couldn't be trusted. As Ron would put it, she was 'fraternizing with the enemy' and for once, Hermione agreed with Ron.

She groaned as sat up her former position. She wished she knew what time it was. She hated that she couldn't have a clock in here or something. She stood up walk over to the door to see if she could hear any activity on the other side of it, but there wasn't any. It's probably early in the morning - too early for her to be up anyway, but she deduced that she wouldn't able to fall back to sleep after that dream. She sighed as she sat back on her regular spot in the floor and leaned her back against the wall.

She spent a few hours staring at the wall adjacent to her, well only the blocks with light shining on them from the window on the door. God, she wished she had something other than that to do.

When those thoughts had entered her mind, the door slammed open and a furious Malfoy was staring at her. She stared at him taken aback by his actions. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You're a pain in my arse, you know that."

"Yeah, well, you aren't what I would call 'ray of sunshine' either," she rolled her eyes and continued. "Is there a reason you came here or is name-calling the only thing on your agenda today?"

"I had a reason, but since you mentioned calling you names, that sounds like a lo-

"Just do what you came to do and leave." She didn't let him finish. She wasn't in the mood for his today, especially after the vivid dream she had of him.

"Well, you're impatient," he sneered at her.

"I am not in the mood today, Malfoy. Just do what you have to do and le-

"I'll do whatever the bloody hell I want, Granger."

"I'm not saying you can't. I'm just not in the mo-

"I don't bloody well care what you are in the mood for, you are a pris-

"You think I don't know that! I'm stuck here and I can't go anywhere. The least you can do is respect me!"

"Respect you! You can't be serious. You're nothing but a Mudblood. You don't dese-

"I'm a human being just like you. Don't tell me what I deserve or don't deserve, Malfoy. If anyone in this room lacks the right for respect it's your pureblooded arrogant arse!" She was getting dangerously close to hitting him in the face, if he degraded her one more time.

"You're a mere Mudblood unworthy of respect when you're in a house full of Death Eaters. You best do well to remember that, if you don't want to be tortured with an inch of your life."

"Piss off, Malfoy."

She could see the anger rising in him. She loved that she could provoke him this much; it brought a sense of pride to her. She laughed inwardly at herself with how stupid she probably sounded right now. He could easily pull out his wand and attack her, but here she was trying to provoke him into a fit of rage; it was like a rush, and he was so much more attractive when he let his emotions get the better o… oh my God. Hermione couldn't believe she had just thought that about her enemy.

"Granger, if you don't learn to control your temper, you're going to be killed and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"Death doesn't scare me, Malfoy. I fear staying here longer more than I fear death."

He stared at her a little stunned with what she had said, but he didn't say anything else. He walked out of the room, and that left her feeling more confused because she thought he had to tell her something… Oh well.

**Day 173;**

"Granger," He's smirking at her now. He walked in her room wearing nothing but his trousers. She was pink in the face when she first saw him. She asked him why he was shirtless and he just stood there smirking at her. "Do you want this?"

His question caught her off guard. She had been staring at him for a good five minutes without even realising it, but he noticed.

"No." she said flatly but they both knew it was a lie. She was already walking toward him and he's inching closer as well.

Their lips touched. He backed them up against the wall and they kept kissing; her hands explored his muscular chest and she pulled at his silky blonde hair that she had grown to like and she always wondered what it would feel like between her fingers… It was the most wonderful feeling…

They stayed like that for a long while, their tongues exploring each other's mouths; teeth nipping at each other's lips. As their kissing slows down they were both breathing hard and their foreheads were touching as they stared into the depth of each other's eyes.

Hermione was thrown awake and she couldn't believe the thoughts that had erupted inside her sleeping stupor. She felt the heat of arousal but suddenly felt disgusted with her own body. How could she even dream something that.

It was such the polar opposite of the last dream she had of him only a few days ago. She rested her palms on her face and stayed like that until she could form coherent thoughts without the thought of Draco intruding them.

Draco left them and he was replaced with thoughts of Ron. It didn't actually happen, but it felt so real.

She began to apologize to Ron over and over in her mind like Ron could somehow hear her from wherever he was, but it didn't help ease her conscious though. She only was feeling worse and worse; she felt dirty. She didn't deserve his forgiveness, but in all honesty, she really didn't have anything to apologize for. They were never a couple. They never talked about there ever being a chance that they'd ever get together once this war was over, but she was in love with Ron and knowing her own feelings towards him and dreaming about another man, their enemy no less, made her feel horrible.

**Day 180;**

All Hermione had been doing was sitting on the floor staring off into the darkness that surrounded her, then suddenly the door burst open and someone was thrown into the cell with her. Before the door closes she caught a glimpse of the person's face and she was dismayed when she saw who it was.

"Dean, Dean Thomas." She was a little chocked up when she said his name. It was so good to see a familiar face.

"Hermione! What – what are you doing here? Everyone thinks you're dead. Wait till I go ba…" His expression fell and she knew that he just realised what he was saying. He wasn't getting out of here, alive.

"Oh, Dean, I'm so sorry," she began to sob, and she felt his arms engulf around her. It felt amazing knowing that someone familiar to her was creating comfort for her. "I wish I could keep what's going to happen to you from happening. I would give anything to be in your place. To get the chance to finally rid me of this place, this hell."

"You have to survive this place, Hermione. Don't give up when you still have a chance to live. You're strong. You'll survive, and you'll find a way." His voice was so strong and she wanted to believe what he was saying, she truly did. She just couldn't find the strength in her to actually keep going.

"I don't think I can, Dean. You have no idea what it's like here. To be tortured so much that you feel like you might finally be able to lose yourself or die, and then have that idea ripped away from you and you're still sane and alive to feel it hit you all over again." she couldn't see his facial expression because it's so dark, but she didn't think she wanted to see it.

His voice is a little troubled when he finally spoke again. "You have to, Hermione. You can't not survive and get out. It's so crazy out there. Death is everywhere and you don't know when you're going to die."

"Is it better that way? To never see death coming, or to spend the days as I have; counting down every minute until my looming demise."

"I don't know."

"But you will know. You don't know if you're going to be killed in a few hours or if they're going to do it three days from now. You're going to be sitting here counting," Hermione said in all seriousness. "I don't want to give up, Dean, but its sounding better and better with every passing day, to die instead of living through any of this any longer." Hermione paused her talking and wiped a tear away from her eyes. "How long have I been here, Dean?" she had to know. She needed to know how long she had been in this place.

He didn't speak for a while. Maybe he knew that if he told me, it would upset her even more. "Almost four months, Hermione. A lot of people think you're dead."

Hermione had silent tears fall down her cheeks, and he held her, and they stayed like that for a while; soaking up each other's fears and discomfort.

**Day 187;**

They killed Dean in front of her. They knew he's one of her friends from Hogwarts; she couldn't get the look on his face out of her head and the words he spoke before the green light engulfed him.

"Survive," that's what he told her to do. He wanted her to survive and she would try. She would try to live for his death and all the deaths of the other people she had lost.

Her body would survive; she's not so sure her mind could endure anymore. She'd lose her battle of coherence before she lost her battle of life.

Her mind was the only constant in her life and now she's about to lose that like every other damned thing in her life.

It has helped her overcome many hindrances in her life, but it couldn't help, if the only thing she saw was pain and suffering, recurrently. It was slowing driving her into insanity.

She could recall a good memory, which was when she was at her happiest in this horrid place. Remembering her childhood always brought a smile to her face, but then her mind led her to places in her memories she didn't want to go or remember. It took her somewhere dark and cold. They were filled with saturated, opaque events she thought were forgotten. Those memories were vile, repulsive little brutes. They didn't cease, they outlasted the good, and those were the memories eating at her saneness.

**Day 194;**

Hermione hadn't seen Draco in days. She didn't know if she was worried, or if she just desperately wanted him back because another Death Eater had been giving her the meals and torturing her before she could even eat.

She was beginning to lose it. Her voice was going out because of all the screaming. He had been torturing her for an hour and a half every day, or it felt that long. It seemed as if the torturing went on forever, running through her nerve endings at a never ending speed of pure agony, but she couldn't tell you exactly how long she had to endure all of the anguish. She no longer held a sense of time. The day merely went by without it ever showing signs of stopping.

The last sense of hope she had been feeling for weeks was now absent. She had no hope left inside of her.

"Mudblood whore, here is your food."

She was so sick of being called that! Hermione snapped. She was now yelling and hitting at the Death Eater. "I am not a whore! So what, my parents were bloody Muggles. Who gives a damn! I do not have a long line of magic in my family, who cares! I'm a human; I'm a young lady! My heart beats, just like yours! Magical blood runs through my veins, just like you! We're the same!"

She slapped him across the face, and she could see anger festering inside the Death Eaters eyes. She did not fear him though. The worst he could do was to kill her, and she wasn't so sure she believed that's the worst thing that could happen… She thought him keeping her alive longer was the worst punishment that she could receive at this point. Maybe she was hoping for that to happen. She was trying to cause him to crack and in the process end the pain she was feeling.

Would this be considered suicide? She would be the reason of her own death.

_To be or not to be: that is the question._

To be alive or to be dead: the question didn't seem that appealing once you realised what Hamlet was actually asking, but she began to consider Hamlet to be a wise man at this point. The pondering of suicidal capabilities were the only thoughts that pounded in her mind. Did she really want to do that though? The pros and cons was what she put forth all her concentration along with the speech from Hamlet pondering the same question. Which is nobler, death by self or death by another?

She was brought out of her reverie by a hard slap across the face, and it caused her head to turn to the left, but she stood her ground. She didn't move and didn't hold her cheek with her hand, but he pulls out his wand and began withering on the ground, screaming out loud in pain. No longer did she care how death happened to fall upon her only that it would happen and happen soon.

This was the worst it had ever been, the pain radiated through her whole being and reached into her soul and clutched it with an iron-tight grip. She bit down hard on her bottom lip as another surge of pain ran through her; the coppery taste of blood began filling her mouth, but she began to feel herself slipping away, the pain easing into a soft purr in her mind, and it was the most wonderful feeling she had felt in a long time. Her screaming had turned into a muffled murmur. She felt at peace and she didn't want this feeling to end. She didn't want to return. She just wanted to stay in this state forever - never to remember all the pain she felt. She was the most relaxed she'd been in a very long time. Please, don't let this end, God. She no longer wished to return - to return back to the torture and the pain.

At soon as it had started, it ended way too soon. She began hearing voices again and she was pulled brought back to reality, and ripped from her peace. She cried out. She didn't want to be back here.

She was sobbing. Tears were running down her face and she couldn't forcer herself to stop. She wanted to go back to that place of serenity.

"Herm- Granger! Granger, can you hear me! Blink if you can hear me!" It was Draco's voice so she blinked because she could hear him, and she cried more because she could hear him.

"Have you completely lost it, Pascoli! We don't want her to lose her mind like you apparently have!"

She wanted to lose her mind. She wanted to go back and never return.

**Day 200;**

She hadn't been the same since that day she almost lost all senses. She wanted to go back to the place she felt most at peace. She didn't want to be back here with all these Death Eaters. She didn't want to live… not anymore.

"Granger, you have to eat."

She stared at Malfoy with a blank stare, not really hearing what he was saying. She didn't have the strength to listen.

"Damn it, Granger! Are you trying to kill yourself?"

She mulled over the question in her mind, but she never actually answered it.

"Don't give up. It is almost over. You won't have to worry much longer; just eat, Granger."

She didn't think much about that statement. She thought that she'd sit here and stay in her thoughts a little longer. There's no need to speak her opinion out loud anymore. She was finally broken. She knew this made Malfoy and all the other Death Eaters happy. They finally broke the know-it-all Mudblood Gryffindor; one-third of the Golden Trio has finally lost her mind. She just wanted it all to end now. She didn't want to live.

"Kill me, please." Hermione pleaded and this was the first time she had spoken in a few days.

Malfoy stood there looking down at Hermione for a few minutes before turning away and heading towards the door. She heard the soft movement of the door as it opened but not the loud noise that came after it closed. She lifted her head and stared at Malfoy looking down at her.

"Happy Birthday, Granger," and with that he turned and the loud noise of the door slamming shut reverberated around the room.

She sat there while silent tears fell down her dirt-streaked face. How did he even know it was her birthday? She laid back on the stone cold floor and rocked herself back to her sleeping stupor, where her problems didn't matter and she got to see her friends and family again.

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I hope that you enjoyed that. It's been awhile I know. I will be posting again tomorrow, maybe. I hope I will be able to do that.

Review

xxLK


	7. Lost and Found

**Disclaimer: **I'm not J.K. Rowling.

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**Lost and Found – Chapter 7**

**Day 208; **

Darkness is a creature all in itself. It plays tricks on your mind; makes you see things that aren't there. Maybe children aren't so foolish - being afraid of the dark. Adults assume it's the child's imagination, that the child was picturing ghoulies and ghosties in the dark that aren't there, but the truth of it is that children don't fear imaginary creatures. They fear the actual darkness itself. Dark can change shapes, can morph from one thing to the next before your eyes can focus. It has a mind entirely of its own.

It scared her, everything her mind could picture in the complete darkness. Her mind could imagine Lord Voldemort covered in her blood laughing manically. Draco Malfoy with his wand pointed at her heart, the familiar green light racing toward her, and she would move just in time before it collided into her body. Harry and Ron covered in blood and Malfoy covered in blood, his steel-gray eyes glazed over from death. She didn't understand the fear of Malfoy dying, but it was like a Boggart had found its way into her prison and had decided to show her all her worst fears.

**Day 139; **

She did remember Hogwarts. She still was never really carefree, with Voldemort always trying to kill Harry in school, but when they were able to actually act like kids, they were just that – kids. They fought like kids, thought like kids, dreamt like kids; they even fell in love like kids. They were the happiest moments of her life.

Those memories brought back memories of Ron and her childlike self that fell in love with him. It seemed so distant that love was the only thing on her mind. Jealousy was muddling up her thought process. Thinking about that caused her to laugh. She was in love with Ron. Her childlike self's love, the love she'd never experience because her love was gone and pain and fear had replaced all that. Her heart felt cold with anguish and terror.

She remembered at one point she thought she was in love with Harry. That specific thought always brought her into hysterics. It was fourth year, the year of the Tri-Wizard Tournament and she had mistaken worry for love. She was so glad she never mentioned that to Harry, but maybe when – if – she ever got out of here, Harry and she could have a laugh about it together.

Although, did that time ever really exist? Or was it a fantasy made up in her mind meant to bring her happiness. Still, it was her favourite fantasy.

**Day 216; **

Malfoy was staring at her again today. It's the fourth time this week he'd come in her cell to observe her. She didn't speak and she didn't engage in eye contact. She didn't want to stare at the face of evil anymore. He haunted her nightmares; he haunted her dreams. She couldn't get him out of her mind.

"Granger, look at me," he said in a commanding tone. She didn't move. She kept staring off at the wall behind Malfoy's head, so she wouldn't have to look at Malfoy.

Hermione began to prefer the darkness when he was in here. She wanted the light at the end of his wand to go out and never turn on again. She didn't like him staring at her and there was no way of hiding from him. Most people don't fear anything in the light, but that makes absolutely no sense. You see, if there is a time you should be truly frightened of things coming after you; it's when you stand in the light. The dark can be used as a shield, but where can a person hide when they're bathed in light?

"Granger," He points his wand in her face. "For fuck's sake, look at me!"

She still didn't move for a few seconds but if looking at him would get him out of here, she would abide his commands. She moved her head and focused on Malfoy's face with an emotionless stare.

"You need to get over this self-pity you're feeling. You're alive and you need to grow up and learn to handle what life throws at you. You're alive and that's all that should matter at this point."

Her face contorted into anger and she could feel the anger festering inside her chest as he continued to speak to her. "You're truly worthless, if you're going to sulk away your pain. It won't help make you a better witch."

Hermione was shaking with rage. She hadn't felt these many emotions in what seem like a long time. Hermione stood up and slapped him across the face, leaving a hand print across it. "You're an arrogant prat," she croaked out. She hadn't used her voice in, she didn't know how long. "You have no right to say those things to me. You have no idea what I'm going through right now because you're one of those causing me this pain! You're the reason I'm becoming the way I am; you and your other band of monsters. You all deserve to rot in hell."

He smirks at her. "It's nice to have you back, Granger."

She continued to stare at him in pure rage, and then let out an aggravated sigh. "You said all those things just to get a reaction out of me. Well, if I ever! You- you're the biggest arrogant son of a bitch I've ever met."

He doesn't reply, but he's still wearing the biggest smirk.

**Day 225; **

Being tortured had become second nature to her, but no matter how many times the same form of pain was inflicted upon her, it was like it manifested into a form of torture her body had yet to endure. It tore at her body, ripped at her soul, lurked in her subconscious, and took a little piece of her with it every time it came to an end.

The screaming never ended. The tears always feel and she felt a little lost every time. She begged for the end. She cried out to Death to take her away and end the torment. She demanded it. Maybe that's why she wasn't granted her request.

She had no control over living or dying. She didn't ask to enter this world, and she won't ask to leave this world. It will just happen. It matters not how it occurs. When Death is ready for her to return, it will take her away. It won't ask for permission. Hermione kept crying out though. She knew Death could hear her and it laughed in her face. It showed death all around her and yet, it refused to bring death to her. Death enjoyed the misery it caused her.

Hermione oft dreamt of death, and how it might transpire. Sometimes it was quick and painless, seeing a bright green light flying toward her and everything went dark after it collided with her body. Sometimes it was so painful that she would wake up feeling like it had just happened. There were no pleasantries in dreams like these. They brought her no comfort. They brought her anguish and depression.

**Day 227; **

"People are afraid of themselves, their feelings most of all." That statement rang loud to so many people, her especially. Her feelings scared her the most because she couldn't control them in the moments when they need to be controlled.

She hated that her body reacted to their torture. She tried so hard to keep from reacting, but her body failed her every time. They found enjoyment in the fact that they could get reactions like that out of people. She wished she couldn't give them the pleasure of watching her whither in pain.

Her emotions were all over the place when she was being tortured. She would show weakness and she pleaded for them to stop, but they all laughed at her and called her weak and pathetic. Maybe she was those things. She didn't have any strength left. She felt weak and pathetic; she lost her will to fight and strength to carry on. All she wanted to do was succumb to all this torture.

She could no longer tell reality apart from her dreams anymore. Everything seemed so distant. She began see people she knew that weren't there. She began to have conversations with these people. She was slowly losing her mind and nothing was going to bring her back to reality. Though, she still wasn't sure if she was talking to these people in her dreams, or if she was awake and only hallucinating them.

**Day 238;**

Malfoy ruined her dream again. He always knew how to ruin it and turn it into a nightmare. He didn't know how to leave her alone. Why can't he tell she didn't want him in her dreams? He always had the same barren expression on his face when he came into her dreams, and it scared her because she couldn't tell what he was feeling.

"_Don't be scared of Malfoy, Hermione."_

She looked up and saw two emerald eyes staring at her. She reached her hand out and tried to touch Harry, but he seemed to have run from her and disappeared.

"Come back! Please, come back!" she hollered out into the blackness. He didn't come back and she was left sitting there with tears falling down her face.

**Day 242;**

The door was thrown open and three Death Eaters entered her cell. She put her hands over her ears to block out their taunting and backed up against the wall.

"Look at the Mudblood." They all laughed and she shook her head.

Her face was being yanked forward and she stared into the eyes of a Death Eater. "Look at us when we're talking to you, Mudblood."

"Let's teach her lesson for not listening to us." The Death Eater released her from his firm grasp. She fell and hit her head on the wall with a loud gasp of pain. They all laughed.

Then the dreadful words escaped from his lips and the pain began to reside in her bones and muscles. She screamed out. White clouds were fogging up her vision and muddling up her thoughts.

She could longer tell if this was dream or reality. The pain had subsided and couldn't hear any of their words anymore. Why couldn't she hear? Her vision was blurred; it was all seemed foggy and dreamlike.

She felt someone pick her up and lay her back on the wall. Her head lolled to the side and she was looking into silver eyes; silver eyes of her enemy. "No, please." She said in desperation. "Don't hurt me." she tried to escape his grasp.

"Ganger, will you stop moving!" He was yelling at her.

Tears were coming down her face rapidly and she kept fighting him. She had to get away.

"Stop it! I'm trying to _help_ you." He spoke in a whisper.

She stopped fighting and just sat there. She was trying to comprehend what he said to her. She didn't get much time though. He whipped out his wand - He lied to her– and the curse hit her in the chest, and she passed out.

**Day 249; Hour 10**

Blurry vision and distant noises reaching her ears were all the sensory she had. There were yelling and loud booms echoing in the halls above her. It was like there was a war going on right above her head.

She was feeling panicked. Her pulse was beating at a rapid rate and her palms were sweating uncontrollably.

Was she dreaming? Was she hallucinating? Or was this really happening?

She shook her head and tried to get her vision to be less burred. Why couldn't she see anything? She moved her hands around on the ground to see if she could find anything useful, but all she felt was cold, hard stone.

She backed herself up against the wall and brought her knees to her chin waiting for anything to happen.

**Day 249; Hour 15**

Hermione was being shaken. Her lids ripped open and she was looking straight at Malfoy. She tried to back further up, but the wall behind her refrained her from doing so. She shook her head. She wanted him gone, wanted him to go away. He moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down, but panic rose inside her once again.

"I'm getting you out, Granger!" Her vision had begun to blur around her, it was like she was back in her dream state. She was being to lose and couldn't differentiate between dream and reality. Was she being rescued by the enemy or was the enemy taking her to her death? Questions remained unanswered as a black fog began to cascade over the objects that surrounded her once perfect vision. "You are going to be safe. I promise."

**Day 255;**

Hermione slept for days. She had no recollection of what had happened to her. She had no memory of the trauma she went through. She attempted to open her eyes groggily, but it was no use. It was like her eyelids had been stapled shut. She tried to move her toes, she thought she had at first, but she began to hear the voices. Were they in her head? Is she dreaming right now? Why did it seem like she was in a fluffy bed made of clouds; it was like she was floating above the world. As questions began to do somersaults in her mind, floods of memories began to flash behind her eyes like a rapid fire spreading along a forest bed. There were memories and memories of torture, pain, and sorrow; Draco Malfoy's face reoccurring over and over in many of them. His torture, his pain, his lies were all being replayed in her mind.

"_I'm getting you out, Granger!" Her vision had begun to blur around her, it was like she was in a dream state. She couldn't differentiate dream from reality. Was she being rescued by the enemy or was the enemy taking her to her death? Questions remained unanswered as a black fog began to cascade over the objects that surrounded her once perfect vision. "You are going to be safe. I promise." _

That was the last thing she had heard Malfoy speak to her before the black fog completely engulfed her utterly and wholly. She tried to come to terms with this memory, but it seemed too distant and dreamlike that she couldn't believe a word of it. Was she even alive?

She laid there for a while, not really knowing what was happening. There were noises, no, voices that begun to reach her sensory. They were loud voices.

"How long is she going to stay like this, Healer?" the voice seemed so familiar, like she had heard it in another life time years and years ago.

"We can't know for sure; healing takes time. The body has a way of knowing how much rest a person needs. She has been under horrible circumstances and seen many horrendous things. Now, if you keep on with your outbursts, I will have to ask you to leave. Do you understand?" The healer had a stern voice with impatience spoken with every word. She heard a huff of breath and a low mumble confirming her requests from the other occupant in the room.

She began to hear two sets of feet begin to shuffle closer to her, and she wanted to flinch away, but her body had failed her. She made no indication that she had even moved to the others.

"How long has it been, mate?" she heard one deep voice ask the other person that was staring down at her. She felt exposed and fragile as the eyes remained pointed at her.

"Too many months to even consider it possible that we had gotten her back virtually unscathed," the other voice spoke back in melancholy.

"Harry, I want her back."

"I do too, Ron."

The voices were feeling distant as Hermione began to feel weak and dizzy once more. How is she hearing their voices? Why can't she move or speak back? She wanted to scream, jump, cry, or anything, but her body won't let her. She wanted to scream at Harry and Ron, not with malice but happiness. Layers and layers of grief and depression began to engulf her as she felt a weight heavily pressing against her mind causing her to pass into unconsciousness.

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It's been awhile, I know. I hope you enjoy this one. I will be back next weekend with another chapter. I hope you stick around long enough to read it till the end. I want to thank all the followers and the ones that comments. You guys are awesome and I appreciate all the criticism that you bestow to me.

Review

**xxLK**


	8. Awake

**Disclaimer: **I am not J.K. Rowling, sadly. I own nothing HP canon related.

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**Awake – Chapter 8 **

**Day 262;**

Hermione strained to open her eyes. Why is it that she could hear everything around her, but no one could see her struggling to move or speak? She screams. She can hear herself scream, but that's probably because it's in her mind. Everything is always in her mind, even the voices she hears. She can't believe that it's really them, but she can't figure out that if this is a dream, why can't she move or speak. Nothing makes sense to her anymore. It's all just a jumbled mess inside her once ordered mind.

**Day 269;**

"Hermione, I miss you. We all do actually. We finally have you back, but you won't wake up for any of us. Is there a reason?"

Hermione could hear Harry breathing deeply after speaking, waiting for her to respond to the question. She does answer it. He just can't hear her and that frustrates her to no end. She wanted to scream, so she does, but nothing passes her lips.

She heard him heave a heavy sigh and grab onto her hand.

"I'm glad you are safe, Hermione. Just - can you please wake up soon? I've needed you. I just… it's so hard. The Death Eaters won't give up, and I'm just so tired all the time. Please, Hermione, please wake up."

Hermione's heart broke at Harry's words; she wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him that it was going to be okay, that she was here now, but every time she tried to move nothing happened. Nothing.

Harry bent down and placed a small kiss on her forehead. She felt a lone tear hit her cheek and she knew it was Harry's.

She was alone again, and she knew it because she couldn't hear the laboured breathing of her friend. She tried to make sense of all this. She must be sleeping though because Harry told her to wake up, but if she woke up, would she wake up back in prison, or had she really been rescued by Draco Malfoy?

**Day 274;**

One finger, two fingers. Hermione moved her fingers one at a time. She could move her finger again. She felt like she was in euphoria at this point. She breathed in deep and then lifted her hand up. She knew she did it; she just knew. It wasn't in her mind. All she had to do was do it again when someone came into the room.

Hermione waited for the healer. She kept lifting her hand up. She needed to make sure she could still do it once the healer came inside the room.

She was getting agitated. It seemed like it was taking a lifetime for the healer, anyone, to come into her room. Was she not being watched over anymore? Where is everyone? Hermione laid there and tried to open her eyes, but that was the only thing not working. She wiggled her toes and moved her fingers simultaneously. She was giddy. Maybe she will be able to open her eyes soon. It was only a matter of time before she could that.

The door crashed open and she heard the shuffling of feet move closer to her.

"Malfoy," an angry voice said. It sounded like Ron. "You can't be in here! Get your slimy arse out!"

He hollered and Hermione's body tensed up knowing that Malfoy was looking down at her. Why was he here? Even if he did save her life, he had no business being here with her. Her breath was laboured and she knew it. She sent commands to her body to move, but she wouldn't budge. It was like her body was frozen.

"Malfoy, I swear if you don't get away from Hermione I'm going to curse your arse out," Ron wasn't happy with the fact that Malfoy was in here, and she really didn't want him in here either.

"Will you shut up, Weasel. I am trying to see something."

Hermione didn't know what to think about this.

Then she felt his fingertips touch her arm and her body tensed under the touch. She knows that Malfoy saw her tense, he probably even felt it.

"Were you seriously about to claim her brain dead?" Malfoy practically yelled and Hermione was shocked.

Her friends wouldn't do that to her.

"It's almost been a month and she has yet to wake up. We didn't know what else to do," Ron spoke a little shameful.

"Whose bright idea was this?" a huff of annoyance came from Malfoy as he finished the question.

"Mine," Ron said quieter, but Hermione heard him perfectly and that sent waves of shock throughout her whole body. Pain had begun in her chest. How could he do that to her? He's not even giving her the chance to heal. Anger replaced pain, and it would take everything in her to not cry, even if the tears could fall.

"Harry said no though but that doesn't answer why you are in here."

"Does it matter, Weasley?" Malfoy said with anger and then shuffled out of the room with nothing else spoken.

Hermione laid there, she really couldn't do anything else, and she contemplated what she had just heard. Ron was ready to quickly announce her dead. What was his reasoning behind this? Did he not want her in his life anymore? Was that what it was? She felt like doing nothing but sobbing into her pillow at this point.

She heard feet moving close to her and she knew it was Ron.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Ron spoke softly and grabbed onto her hand. She would have held it, but she couldn't forgive Ron for his actions.

He let go and left the room. She didn't know what to do anymore.

**Day 281;**

"Hermione," she felt a hand in hers and she squeezed it. "You're alive, so wake up."

She squeezed his hand again. '_I promise I will, I promise,' _Hermione said this in her mind over and over again. She would wake up for Harry.

**Day 288;**

A few days later Hermione was all alone. She told herself that today was going to be the day that she woke up. She took in a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. She concentrated hard on the task she was trying to achieve and then ripped her eyes open. Hermione blinked a few times to help get rid of some of the blurriness and get used to the light that was beaming down into her eyes, but she was grinning widely during the whole thing.

She was truly rescued. She wasn't in that dark prison cell with Death Eaters all around her anymore. She continued to lie on the bed as reality began to sink in. Death couldn't torment her - making her feel lost and depressed any longer - because it was over, and as soon as she realised this, her eyes became blurry with tears.

She looked around the room and saw the stark white walls that surrounded her. There was a mirror on one of the walls to the right of her bed. There were a few flowers on the tables. She knew they were from people wishing her well, but she didn't care for looking at who they were from; she wanted to see herself.

She let out a shaky breath before tossing her legs over the bed. She gently placed her feet on the floor and grasped the bed as she tried to get used to walking again. She walked slowly to the mirror, mainly because she could barely walk, but she knew she could probably walk faster, she was just scared to see what she looked like. She closed her eyes as soon as she reached the mirror, scared of her own reflection.

She opened her eyes slowly, and she released a small gasp of air.

Hermione met herself for the first time in months. Her eyes were hollowed and sunken in a gaunt face; dark shadows etched and stretched under eyes, and her cheek bones were protruding out. She looked like a ghost of her former self, torn and beaten into someone she hardly recognized anymore. Tears had started to fall down her cheeks at the sight of herself. Her hair was a matted bird's nest, grim and dirt caked all in it; she wanted to chop it all off, but mostly she wanted a bath. A sob ripped through her chest, and she stood there staring at herself and crying.

She didn't know how long she stood there sobbing, but soon she had run out of tears, and she was left standing there with puffy, red eyes and a stuffy nose. She let out a jagged breath and began to slowly make her way towards the bed again, but she must have triggered something because before she knew it, medi-witches and Healers were all rushing into her room along with Harry and Ron following close behind.

"Check her vitals," one medi-witch yelled over the chaos.

"Lay her back in bed, now!" Another yelled.

Hermione was being pushed and pulled in all directions. She was feeling overwhelmed. She didn't know what to do, so she began to fall in on herself. She began walking back, trying to get away from everything. Breathe. She needed to breathe. She felt something solid behind her and realised it was the wall. She placed her hands on her ears to drown out the noise and slid down the wall. _Go away. Go away!_

"GO AWAY!" she shouted aloud this time and everyone stood in place, shocked at her outburst. "Go away, please. Go away." She rocked herself. _Too much, this is too much._

The people in the room began to disperse after getting over their initial shock, and it became easier to breathe. She let out a heavy breath and sat there on the floor.

The main Healer, Ron, and Harry were the only people in the room now.

"Hermione," the Healer began. "I need you to stand up."

She looked up at him and tears began to arise on the brim of her eyes. _Why are they doing this?_

The Healer got closer and held onto her hand. "Come on, Misses Granger. I just need to make sure you are okay," the elder Healer spoke in a gentle voice and helped Hermione back to her bed.

Everything was going to get better, Hermione kept reminding herself as the Healer began performing diagnostic spells over her body. She watched as the tip of the wand lit up different colours based on where he had pointed it. She didn't really know what was good or bad. There was mainly the colour white and she was hoping that was a good sign.

When the he finished, he wrote everything down.

"It seems that you have healed adequately," he said with a solemn expression before continuing. "The only problem at present is that your mind hasn't fully recovered from the shocks of the multiple Cruciatus Curses."

Hermione looked at him, "What does that mean?" She muttered out softly. She hadn't heard her own voice for a long time, at least it felt like a long time, and she was shocked with how small she sounded just then.

"It's different for everybody. Only time will tell what your symptoms are," he told her. "You could have memory lost, you could have trimmers, and you could go into shock randomly as if you are being cursed again, or you could have a combination of the three."

Hermione listened to him as this news sunk in. She would never be the same again… ever. "Will this deter from my ability to fight?"

The Healer looked at her like she had just sprouted a second head, but she still sat there patiently waiting for him to answer her.

"It depends on which one you have. The trimmers could be stabilised with a potion and memory loss isn't something that can keep you from it, but if your body goes into shock, we can't control it. You would be stuck with them forever." The Healer explained everything to her, and she was feeling rather hopeful with the situation.

The Healer then bid her goodbye and the only people left in the room were her, Ron, and Harry.

"Hermione, it's so good to see you!" Harry was the first to speak and he ran up to her with a warm, tight embrace.

Ron walked towards her slowly. "Hey, Hermione," he said with guilt etched on his expression.

"Hey, Ron," Hermione said with a sad smile. "Harry, you – it's so good to see, both of you. You just have no idea."

Harry smiled at her knowingly, and they just sat there talking and talking. Ron didn't speak much. It's hard to know that he wanted to say she was dead without even a second thought; she knew she should hold that over him, so she let it go.

"Do you think they will let me take a shower soon because I really want to feel clean."

Harry and Ron laughed and she scowled at them.

"Oh, yes. It's so hilarious. Go ahead and laugh at the stinky girl," she said and smiled at them warmly as they laughed on. "But seriously though, I need a bath."

**Day 291;**

It took a few days but the Healer finally allowed her to take a shower on her own. She exhaled a heavy sigh as she stood beneath the scorching water as it pounded harshly against her skin. It slowly began to relieve the taut coils deep inside her muscles.

As she felt relief rush through her, she finally got the courage to wash the grim out of her hair. She opened the shampoo bottle and poured into her hand. The harsh chemicals reached her senses and she felt overwhelmed by the smell. It was all too much, so she closed her eyes and lathered her ball of hair roughly. She felt knot after knot deep inside her hair, and tears were falling down her face as she realised that she would never be able to relieve herself of the knots and tangles.

She washed all the shampoo out and grabbed the brush she had brought. As she attempted to brush all the tangles out, she sobbed. Never again would she be able to safely run a brush through her hair. She looked down at the sheers she had brought and put on the counter just in case.

She slowly made her ways towards them and stared at herself in the mirror across from the counter. Tears were streaming down her face as she brought the sheers to three inches above her shoulders. She closed her eyes and then closed the sheers on her hair. She opened them and stared at the space where hair used to be, and then looked at the floor where her hair had cascaded to the ground in bushel. She continued until all of her hair was the same length.

She placed the sheers back on the counter and stared at her reflection. Her hair hadn't ever been this short. She breathed in and out slowly as the change began to sink in. Hermione felt like she might faint, but she controlled her breathing and calmed herself down long enough to get back in the shower and wash her hair and brush the remaining hair less roughly for she had cut out majority of the tangles in her hair.

When she began scrubbing her body, she scrubbed until her skin was red and angry. It looked as though she was bleeding, but she wanted to remove any residue of ever being captured. She knew that she would never truly relieve herself of that and it would be a long, pain-staking process for her psyche to heal.

**Day 297;**

Everyone Hermione loved was gathered around her bed.

"Hermione!" she heard from the whole of the Weasley clan - excluding Fred - as they all squeezed inside her room.

"What happened to your hair?" she heard George scream out above the murmurs of everyone talking, but everyone stopped as they waited for Hermione to answer.

Hermione rolled her eyes as she smiled at George's bluntness. "Well, George, it seems that my hair didn't like me very much and it disappeared."

George got twinkle in his eye, "Well, if I stuck on a head like yours, I'd want to run away too," he spoke jokingly to her and gave a small playful wink.

Hermione let out a terse laugh and hit him the arm, "You arse!"

They all laughed and joked with one another as if Hermione had never been captured. It was like old times and she was forever grateful that the Weasley's didn't look at her with saddened expressions like have the human body that resided in St. Mungos. Yes, she was captured and tortured by Death Eaters, but she was still the same Hermione Granger… maybe. She doesn't like to believe that they changed her, but she knew deep down that she would never be the same person she was before, if she could even remember that person… Who was she before this? Did she even have an identifier? Oh that's right, she was the uptight, know-it-all. She laughed inwardly at this proclamation.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione!" she heard being yelled, removing her from her thoughts as she tried to match the face with the voice. In the midst of the different hues of red, Hermione found the one shade of black hair.

"Merry Christmas, Harry," Hermione spoke with a big smile on her face.

Christmas had always been her favourite holiday. She always felt a little lighter on this day because this was the one day that everything felt brighter in the middle of all the dark and despair.

They all celebrated Christmas in her room in St. Mungos. It was a rather odd Christmas, but it was special none the less because they had a lot to be thankful for.

**Day 305;**

"Harry?" she spoke after the room had been in silence for a while after their initial conversation about New Year's yesterday.

"Hmm?"

"How was I able to get rescued? Why did it take so long?"

Harry looked at her with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry it took so long. It took us forever to think of a plan that would actually work. We tried on many occasions, but they somehow were able to overcome our efforts every time," he explained with every emotion he was feeling written on his face. There was mainly sorrow and regret in his eyes.

"It was Malfoy's idea that got your rescued in the end."

Hermione looked at him with utter confusion. "What do you it was Malfoy? Since when do you listen to anything that cockroach says?" she spoke with pure hatred.

"Hermione, he saved your life. He took over for Snape as a spy for the Order, and he's been a damn good one." Harry said defending the man that had turned his wand towards her and it was too much to handle. It didn't make any since at all to her.

"Look," he said realising the confusion still evident on her face. "Malfoy had this plan. He had the Death Eaters plant false information about your whereabouts with one of them and purposefully has him captured. The Death Eaters believed that they were going to ambush us, but in reality we were ambushing them at the location you were at, while they were at another location expecting us to show up."

Hermione sat there quietly as he explained this to her. It sounded so familiar to her. She sat there and thought about this plan, and the more and more familiar it sounded. She furrowed her brow as the memory of a conversation started to play in her mind.

"_Everything is set up. All the Death Eaters are going to be in one Manor while you're being kept here." She had just spaced out again. She didn't even realise it, so now she missed everything he had said._

"_Why? I thought they wanted me everywhere they go. Why are they leaving without me?" Hermione asked confusion eating at her. She really should stop spacing. Then she might, for once, know what Malfoy is always blabbing on about._

"_I just explained everything to you, if you aren't going to listen I might as well be talking to the brick wall behind you," he said with annoyance dripping off his tongue._

"_I'm sorry, I just got caught up in my own thoughts," she apologized. _

"_Yeah, alright, you're forgiven, just this once." He smiled cheekily, and then cleared his throat before speaking again. "They want them to think you're there and they're going to do a surprise attack. Only a few Death Eaters are going to be located here."_

He had told her about his plans the whole time. He was hinting and she never knew it. She was still in her reverie when she heard Harry talking again.

"…never really was a true Death Eater when you were captured, Hermione. He was working for the Order."

Hermione closed her eyes for a few seconds remembering when he had tortured her. "Was he part of the Order the whole time I was being held captive?"

"No he wasn't. He hadn't approached us until about a month after your capture," Harry let out a dark chuckle. "It took a while for anyone here to trust him. People still don't."

"Did he say why he wanted to join?" Hermione asked after she laughed lightly at Harry.

Harry shook his head, "He never gave an actual response to the question. He simply said he was tired."

Hermione contemplated his words, but they held no meaning to her, except that she was tired as well. She wasn't tired of fighting for what was right, just still mentally and emotionally drained from her torture.

Things were changing rapidly and she isn't sure she is ready for it. All of it was hard to believe, like she was living in some nightmarish dream.

Dream or reality? The question raced through her mind as she tried to grasp everything, but nothing was clear or logical.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed it. I finished this for you before I will no longer be writing until after March 8th. My senior term paper is due in less than a week and I have gotten squat done. Procrastination is my major enemy. If you have a procrastination problem, you should get out of that routine before it's too late.

In other news - if you are reading my other story, _Truth Behind the Lies, _I am currently in the process of writing chapter 4. It might not be uploaded until after the 8th, but I promise I have not given up on that story. It is just on the back burner for a little while.

Review. It is much appreciated.

**xxLK**


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